Accented

In loneliness,
her thoughts keep me adrift,
on a sea of my longing for her touch,
I float,
endlessly,
far away from her realm,
by the ocean,
next to those rocks,
and rusting iron and concrete,
in time,
in a trance,
in longings,
lust,
in shambles,
broken,
in pain,
stilness

Oh well THat's attitude.
Who Else But Me

æ~~~~ mY mAiLs FoR hEr ~~~~æ

☺☻☺۩ ۞ ۞۩☺☻☺

+^````Stillness````^+

------------------------------

Waves lash against the shore of the eye,

over flow,

drop, called a tear,

of absence, from my arms,

of my wife,

my soul mate, my freedom,

my smile,my life,

reduced to static,

the distance, not much, but gravely far,

some 2700 seconds,

but seem like a lifetime,

and i live, ruled by it,

await her arrival,

each day,

each time she turns homeward,i cry,

seperated, by choice,

choices of someone else,

for others,

we await,

our union,

when i shall try to wake up,

find her resting her head on my heart,

asleep like a new born,

and i shall lay there,

watching her,

clinging to me,

like a mother and a child,

i await,

for her arrival.

Jesus What Hath Satan Sent From hell
Who Else But Me

Absolute ME
Who Else But Me

A thousand Pardons

Ask me my name,
i will deny,
decline,
debate why you want it,
never shall let you know who i am.

You shall ask me where i live,
I shall deny again,
I shall travel some wrong path,
mislead you.

You shall ask me to stand beside,
I shall ridicule you,
call you weak,
leave you.

When you shall be lost,
troubled beyond tolerance known to you,
and you wish to be watched over,
turn around, I'll be there watching.

loving you,
from a distance,
for I value you, treasure you,
but i fear of hurting you.

EMS 24/7.
My Future

me

who else but me................
Yikes.......................

Terminal velocity

Guyz and Gals who know me, here is a letter that someone wrote to me after she realized that i was too unromantic and insensitive.
I leave it for you to decide if she was correct.
All I want to say is if you judge me by my play of coy then i wont tell you the true self that i am.
Understanding and communication are two of my key areas, atleast that is what i have been respected till now for.

But hy tomato sent me this mail and I guess she was too correct in what I showed her. Well hey tomato, no mater what, I left not cos I was insensitive but cos I realized that I am too lethal to you, for you want a stage show and pomp, but I choose to be the silent flowing river.


======================================================
There is no reason why I should write to you anymore, nor is there any reason why you should receive and read anything from me..... But for the love I feel and the virtue of its truth and depth, I am here writing to you for the last time...

I wanted to give you all the love you deserved and more, to make you happier than you expected or wanted... but you just gave up and I think its happening for good... I mean if this relation is being more a burden then a source of joy, might as well cut it short than to get further involved and then quit at a later stage when it will be harder...

Hope your 'giving up' attitude does not rub off onto other areas of your life, cos at this rate, you're not gonna achieve anything, not even by 2009......

I am not wanting to put you down or discourage, just giving my perspective on this and since in all this dispute between us, you seem to have missed the point, am only looking to bring to your attention the real issue, so that perhaps you may want to improve on it and not lose the next time around... cos these are some basic things every woman would expect in a relationship...

I know noone can give you 'gyan' and if you've read this far, my guess is you may not continue reading it through... I will however, finish what I have started and therefore, will write on just so that even as we part, there is no room left for misunderstandings and doubts.

You think your inability to talk is the problem, you think I am expecting some sweet talks and yapping from you and that that will satisfy me, whereas am asking for 'communnication' - the two are poles apart!!

Is there anything apart from few msgs that you have done or said that really shows you love me? I mean, hey, you will say you don't need to 'prove' your love, but I say, you need to 'express' it in various ways, or else I will never know how and what you feel... sms/mails/cards/phone conversations/flowers/face-to-face/letters/in little things that you do/through the concern that you show/through the interest you display in the smallest things/by remembering to ask whether I did the tests (if phone not possible at least asking over sms for now and talk when phone conv possible) et al et al....... there is plethora of options, if you want to seek, to make someone feel special and loved!

But you only make sorry excuses for not doing any of it...... and the inconsistency of your excuses is not funny.... What am writing will perhaps put you on defense mode and you will perhaps not see any substance in my complaints, but ask aneeta and may be she will vouch for it...

Lets take the latest episode..... am sure you don't think you were wrong when you, despite the argument that preceded on the same point, didn't write ANYTHING for the 3 hrs that I was in the class. I mean how insensitive can one get. And like I said, I would totally understand if it were an isolated incident, but we've been having tiffs over the same issue since the beginning......

And to top it all, at 2145 after we've started a sms chat, you write 'let me know when you are done and free to talk'!!!!!!!! Asking that! when you are aware that after 2130 is out talk time, and when we had still not resolved the gap from our earlier conversation, I would imagine you to be impatiently waiting to talk and make peace.

But what I get on my 'lets call it quits' msg is 'do what u want, all I can do is love u...... mayb u better go you may find someone who would sweep you off your feet'...

I had said this earlier that if I wanted THAT I would have told you so and gone away quite earlier without you needing to tell me and wont have spent my resources over YOU! however, you only want to see and hear what you 'WANT TO', the rest is conveniently ignored. Well, there isn't much I can do when you are so weak and inclined to give up so easily.

...... and then you say you loved someone so desperately much that she left cos she got suffocated by your love..... wonder where that came from considering you say 'you just cannot express what you feel!'

And every time I have brought up any of these issues for discussion and resolution, you have either gone silent or turned defensive/aggressive or just given up....

Well, I guess 'giving up' does solve all issues, dun it?

So please take care of yourself and stay blessed
======================================================

My future
My Future

In Wait

Like freezing wisps,
The water sprays on my face,
As if those tear drops are trying to wash my face,
Splashing on the table,
As I watch waiting, hoping the wait is not in vain,
Watch your image in the smoke I spew,
Smiling, and each swirl pushing the knife of absence,
Deeper into my heart,
I hear you in my heart,
So close, but so far,
Burning me in flames of loneliness,
Separation of my strength, you,
Only a matter of 120 hours,
But like an eon passes,
Those 5 days in between,
I await your arrival at home,
I let a sigh escape,
In pain, in love, in craving.

Hi Javed,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft.

There a are a few procedures that we can follow.

Please read ramifications of uninstall of wife 1.0


Uninstalling wife 1.0
Procedures:
================
1) Install gun 1.0 with bullets 6.0.
You can point the gun server to the required termination victim.
2) Install Rampuri chaaku 2.5
Occasionally this can be substituted with a kitchen knife 3.6
3) You can also run divorce 2.5 .
This is a complex procedure as it involves side processes like alimony 8.6 and child support 5.6.

Please let me know if these work for you

================================

And by the way NT who ever that is thank you for the insult.
All that you see her as my poem is all mine.
It is listed on a lot of pages.
The poems and songs i didn't write bear the writer's name.
SO if you need the source then this is the right place.
You may find my work on a few of my or my friend's blogs and on BPC and poetry sites.

Dancing in the winds

I looked at her,
dancing amongst the crowd,
I sat, lost in those eyes,
I saw myself looking at me through her eyes,
staring at me sitting there watching her dance,
I felt a smile, deep in my heart,
it was me, looking at her sitting,
two souls seeing each other,
as a reflection,
a projection of the exact thought,
harbored for an eon,
the final rendition,
lost in her...

absolute ˚

I recalled a day,
I smiled so much i shed tears,
I closed my eyes,
Saw my mother,
holding on to me, ill,
at the hospital,
I held the pail, while she threw up,
all that anasthesia, in her blood,
making her drowsy,
I held her hand,
she cried, told me 'sorry son',
about this mess that you are cleaning,
I held her, to my heart,
for that brief moment,
I realized how much I loved her,
and how much she loved me,
and I understood what love was,
and you just reminded me of it again,
by loving me,
my tears blur my vision,
when i remember you both love me,
a lame excuse of being human, I am,
I smile at god,
thank him,
for making me the luckiest in love.

All apologies

it would be a mistake,
i tender an apology,
i admit the inconsistency,
i bowed down to be taught,
my ego,
I, me and myself,
shattered by my love for you,
in shambles,
I am lost,
in you,
in your words,
laughter,
my thoughts,
love,
lust and singing,
swirling in dust,
and love demised,
in my heart,
i grow colder,
each second,
that passes,
each breath,
i take,
I lived in a surrender,
starting with my surrender to you,
But you couldn't love me,
I apologise,
i live in apologies now,
I left, you called,
I walked away,
For i wanted to leave,
before the coldness would take over,
and before my pain ceases to exist,
A tear drop,
in your name,
the last few before the warmth of me dies,
I wait, my sleep calls me,
Waiting....

More of me

Ritesh, you're a Heart-Strong Idealist!

You're an impassioned individual who just can't suppress
your ideals. You've got a strong sense of right and
wrong, and want to let people know when they've crossed
the line. There will be times when you sit back to hear
both sides of an argument, but people had better stay
out of the way when your fiery passions take hold.
But just because you can be a bit of a rebel with a
cause, it doesn't mean you're incapable of being
understanding and compassionate. It's because you're so
invested in your ideas and interests that you can work
so tirelessly toward your goals and speak up for what
you believe in. So keep pouring your heart into it. With
conviction like yours, you're sure to succeed!

==========================================
Test 2
==========================================
Ritesh, stop the press, you're a hardback!


You're a Hardcover! Your score shows how much you value
your privacy. Your emotions aren't in broad circulation
-- you prefer to keep them hidden on the shelf. Clearly,
there are many "chapters" of your life kept off-limits,
even from close friends. This strategy can keep you from
being hurt by others, but there's a negative aspect,
too. With less intimacy, you may feel that your personal
relationships are not terribly satisfying. It can be
rather difficult for some people to reveal themselves to
others, but perhaps you should choose a couple of
chapters that aren't too personal and try sharing them
with a close friend. Dust off that old volume and open
it up -- you may find that your friend responds in quite
a positive way.

Me a Scorpio ! Oh thanks for the info

Scorpio!
It's sooo you! The planets are very complex. Maybe your astrologer will disagree, and maybe a few tendencies will vary, but overall you're a SCORPIO. You're just like a water sign, which comes out in the way you're so in tune with your emotions and your intuitions. Your symbol is a scorpion, which represents your secretive nature and your ability to emit a powerful poison when vengeful. A bundle of contradictions, you have the ability to demonstrate both the best and worst qualities that characterise human nature. Generally, you are intense and passionate, yet stubborn and competitive. You use your intuition fearlessly, and you have a tendency to explore the nature of existence through the study of philosophy and religion. Although it is difficult for you to trust others, whenever you finally do, the result is deep and powerful. On the downside, however, you must work hard to suppress your jealousy. Your dedication, drive, and persistence will guarantee you success, and you are known and respected for your imagination and idealism.

Some famous Scorpios:



Prince Charles
Louise Redknapp
Julia Roberts
Leonardo di Caprio
Usher
Pablo Picasso


Take the test:

http://uk.tickle.com/test/astrologymakeover/start.html

My ink Blot test result

Your instinct to love and be loved is rooted very deeply in your subconscious and affects most of the decisions you make in life – whether you are aware of it or not.
You inspire people to experience their true feelings of love and act kindly towards others. You also value your personal relationships more than most people.
Your unique capacity to love may be greater than those around you, which means you may have more to give in relationships than your friends or romantic partners do.
Your psyche is very rich; the more you learn about it, the more you will understand who you really are.

three years later

I smiled,
Watched the sky, blinked like you,
For the child in me was freed,
One kept in the dark of my mind,
Lost in time,
But your eyes called it,
Held its hand and walked it into the light,
I turned around and saw me,
One that had matured,
Ignored smiling, Faked it,
But the heart hurt then,
You freed me from that hurt,
I thank you,
For you brought the joy back to my heart,
I smiled again,
And I called you,
I called you my child,
For you are my childhood,
And your life showed me,
My childhood exists as you,
Making me smile.

A Maple called Annie

I sat down to rest,
under the green of a maple,
it sheltered my heart,
gave me back the wings to fly,
I felt closer to heaven,
as if touched by an angel,
body and soul,
and down the line i forgot,
the tree needs watering too,
not just the words of love,
and autumn came,
the maple leaves gently touched me,
I forgot they were falling, dying,
I wished to hug the maple,
with my hands so tiny,
I felt ashamed,
my tears got in my way,
and my maple, my Annie,
just stood there,
in silence,
but i shall not wait until spring
and wont let the winter snow touch her,
if she would let me water,
and keep her warm, once,
not for anything in return,
but to pay her back the love,
in a way i could never express,
for i understand now,
and i won't fight the truth,
that she needs to know the love i have,
like maple trees need water.

Film

The picture,
on my wall, an old memory,
the walls of my mind,
painted in pink,
wallpapered with daisies,
and the image is so clear,
as if a film of the finest grain,
unwound, directly in the sun,
the negatives, overexposed,
turned into nothing,
but a sheet of celluloid,
I watch it rewind

Chotu

She sat there watching,
THe vibrant colours,
before her, vividly spread,
painted constantly,
smiled,
a sweet child,
In a blue denim,
she wore a pink tee,
turning around to smile,
to look at you with astonished eyes.
When you call out to her,
They would knock gently on her head,
I would pull her pony tail,
she would just smile,
a friend,
a rare woman,
you are,
and i can hear your tears roll,
each time you cry inside,
you are someone's world maybe ,
but a friend of mine.

My Passion>Our company

To Sireesha

This is dedicated to a name i know (Sireesha)
==========================
like the warm whistle of leaves,
on some clouded noon,
silent and gentle,
like beautiful silk

your name, enchanting me,
like the woods, calling,
i don't know who,
but the soul floats, to the calling

Search

Find me, as you did,
again, now I’m lost in your thoughts,
then it was the world,
you could search,
anywhere is where you can see,
you shall not find me,
look into your eyes,
stare at them,
you will find me, a part of me,lost there,
search your heart, the rest exists there,

Bleed you

I burn,
in an endless flame,
of the flame of your love,
longing to touch you,
feel you in my arms,
but I refrain from touching you,
for I fear the desire chained in me,
like a demon, that could consume you,
and burn you in its fire,
for if i touch,
i shall bleed,
bleed you from every pore of me,
and the desire in me shall have no end,
and I shall be a slave to it,
for you are the woman I love..

Burning to ash

The desolate childish eyes seek an answer,
where it lost it’s childhood,
when I would roam the country side,
amidst the paddy, and the river running by,
I watched you, saw it in your eyes,
I tried to hide, not in fear,
Was shy, afraid of joy,
you walked by, i touched the air,
found the essence, the lost one of mine,
I stood there, smoked, shared two,
I spoke, not my heart, It longed to hear,
I had walked, in rage, against my helplessness,
to reach out to breathe the air you breathe in,
the cubicle, the one where you reside,
the alley where you walk,
I wish I could love and be,
but I know you cannot, for I’m a cinder,
burning to ash,
sooner, and you will know me no more,
but you burnt the fire back in me,
and I could write, write love,
the page is my heart, the words my voice,
you resurrected me, I’m now alive,
watching your smiles, make believe ones
plastic,
makes me happy though, for you try,
I know I’ll survive, silent and in the shadows,
of my burning desire for love, that I have,
and in the flame of your absence in my life.

Destined to solitude

I searched the depths of living,
found you,
lost in the shades of it,
stretched my hand,
you shied,maybe afraid,
I stood there in the rain,
washing my tears,
clouding my tears in the water that poured,
as if it never would stop,
when you turned your hand away,
i smiled,
held my ground,
waiting on the roads,
awaiting your return,
thought you set me adrift,
my hope held me,
tied me to your existence,
only to wait,
only to treasure the one sight of you,
when I met you, and parted,
never to be heard or seen again,
I cursed my destiny,
but it gave me your memory to live by.
I do..........

Again........

On a one way ticket I strode,
Down the road, away from love,
I heard a voice call,
Love, again, At least one more time,

It haunted,
Touched my wounds, healing in solitude,
To slit open my heart,
That timed stitched, ruthless,

So woman, so unlike a woman,
As if lost in a turmoil
Between yourself and you,
As if you wished, as though you couldn’t,
To rattle the pages of my past,
To make me read them over and again,

As if to make me shiver,
In fright, to paralyze the will,
To try to breathe,
Hope for one last breath.

Making me feel the edge of the blade,
Entering superficially, sliding,
Making me burn, with the intensity
Of a thousand lamps of love,
Only to blow it out,
With a single breath of yours
Darkness…………….
Surrounds me again…..

A Hopeful cynic

The grip of solitude,
Justified, malignant, overwhelming,
Cast on me, so spiteful, but homely,
Just to awe me,
Love rose on the horizon,
I knew it shall set, it did,
A cynic, they call me,
I choose not to argue,
For they shall know,
Soon, they shall see,
Wet their grounds with tears,
Of pain, of longing, belongings,
Shall be shattered,
On the rock of life,
Like some lone traveler,
Lost in a journey,
Seeking peace,
Thirsting for smiles,
I shall look back, wonder,
Why I cried,
When I’m laying on my back,
Witnessing the cover of my grave,
Only to be known, by my name,
With the fire of my angst,
Of the past,
On my tombstone please write,
‘I fought to win, I sought,
And I’m here, asleep,
Touch my tombstone,
Resurrect my soul,
Free me’.

Me @ Max

And to think  now my own face………Hah……

 

Professor Saab ab aap microsoft ke engineer ho, faculty dreams are dead long gone,,,,,,,,,

ME

I watched the world pass by,
I let go of all that hurt me deep,
with a bottle of my vodka so clear,
I sat like a monkey on the tree of life,
watched all those who were mine,
or so called themselves,
walk below,
those who never turned to look,
and when they did they howled ‘change’,
i blinked, tried, but a monkey couldn’t change,
I had hope that life shall be mine,
I was afraid to see it fade,
I painted the glory for me,
a pseudo happiness called my world,
where all was bright, and they looked up to me,
washed away by the waves of time,
relentless is the will of the demon inside,
I agreed, I fought,
the inevitable won, maybe I let it,
I stood alone,
like the last man standing,
a monkey could never change I guess,
never, I said, to my self.

Just a Message to my chinese friend (anonymous)

Hi, I have grown out of it, just that life is so beautiful you like the trip, this is on a different character all together, tiger is out long ago.

into the light

Lead me into the light,
the darkness has me captive,
into your realm where love floats,
on swift and steady wings,
break this prison, set me free,
I've long been trapped,
evaded life and living,
felt love pass me by,
I know you not,
nor do you,
total strangers, who passed by,
as you found me,
I hope love finds me,
maybe,
maybe it may not,
but I shall hold on,
to that moment,
when you set me free,
and made me see 
the sunset is just a beginning,
and that the sun shall rise again,
and warm my heart,
I reach out to you,
stretch out my hand,
take me…….
away forever…
far away from pain of longing,
love me………

Dreams of another day

I dreamt of flight,
nurtured the thought,
Fed it the hope,
Drenched it in the blood of my feelings,
It held me strong each time I looked,
For it reminded me of the construct,
Of the ways of the world,
Where all is destroyed to be built again,
But it had like my heart given up,
Forgotten love, forgotten feelings,
Unlike my heart, it was weak, fragile,
And it lay in the hands of a ruthless,
The very one who help me rendition it,
I went to my knees, watched it shattered,
Counted each piece,
The shards cut my fingers,
And became red,
I put them together,
For I knew love would heal,
This time it hurt
More in mending than hurt,
I let it stay,
the shattered remains of my dreams,
My Dreams of another day,

On Blood stained Wings

Waking up from a frenzy,
from a time where I dreamt, peaceful,
gentleness
and flew on wings, so white like pearls,
possessed in the purpose of your existence,
when you passed by,
i would bask in the radiance,
of an existence, a source of imagination,
when you would inspire,
a mind that has flown through storms,
of pain and has bled profuse,
from miseries of misunderstanding,
just to smile, knowing your existence,
solving my purpose,
of poetry, like an artist’s scenery,
untouched and undisturbed by him,
but you raged, barged, broke the heart 
which time mended, gave wings to breathe again,
and shattered it, stabbed it with thoughts,
some which I never could never dare to conjure,
and ended me in flames of shame,
and now I am flying, injured, hurt, in pain,
smiling, trying to ignore,
I take my flight now, holding on to whatever is left,
of inspiration, of the spell you cast and you mutilated,
spraying my own blood, all over,
I’m flying,
with a set of tearful eyes,
and blood stained wings……..

about me

Some things about the Scorpion’s sting in me

1) http://www.scorpiosite69.freeserve.co.uk/Scorpio2.html#art2

2) http://www.scorpiosite69.freeserve.co.uk/Scorpio2.html#art4

3) http://www.scorpiosite69.freeserve.co.uk/Scorpio2.html#art5

 

Engulfed

I was at Malshej yesterday, it is a beautiful place, almost like heaven on earth. I went there unplanned, just imagine his I call up this guy at 9:00 and tell him 15 minutes and we are to leave for a nice outing at Malshej, it takes no planning, no thought or even packing for us both to go anywhere, the wanderers you can call us. Eagles flying on wings of freedom. I found someone there all around me, so I wrote something in my mind and I am putting it up here. Hope you all like this. Me going there again next saturday.

Engulfed
===============================

You would hide,the green peaks
often to reveal them when the sun would intervene,
I would look at the sun,
ask it to be gentle on you,
for you made it look so serene,
the green so pristine,
as if to bathe the soul of a troubled mind,
to make me want to believe, in love,

The waterfalls, spraying, misty,
the wind blows it my way,
though cold, I feel each droplet,
as your instance, so much like you,
for they are silent too,
but talk to me in profound silence,
when they drench me and flow,
making a statement in silence, so 'you',

I walked down hill,
with you surrounding me,
and settled down,to eat an ear of corn,
sitting on the fence,overlooking the valley,
just above the waterfall,
I could feel the nicotine,
rising in my blood,
the smoke mixing with you,
but you still distinctly seperate,
untarnished, your presence,

when I ended my walk,
I turned around,
looked at the mountains,
shining where the streaks hit the peaks,
and stood there, smiled and called out to you,
to come along, home,
you came one last time,engulfed me,
went back to the mountains,
I bid goodbye, with a tear ...
===============================

I found Some things about myself

http://firebrd.blogspot.com/

Breaking the silence

We passed by,
as total strangers,
I caught you too looking my way
unfocused though,lost in ourselves,

as if the silence had more to say,
and the words wouldn’t suffice,
and that we could wait to talk,
untill the next tide,
that may arise,
in my mind, may in yours,
this june walked past,
just as we ,

All with some reasons,
of some fears capsuled in our minds,
a mutual morbid fear maybe,
mine is losing,
losing you after finding,
your’s I do not know.
maybe is finding after losing,
maybe on similar lines,

I sat with the wind today,
after speaking to you with words,
silently, without speech,
both on either side of the terminal,
and the wind broke its silence,
the same wind that dwells within,
as a storm in my mind,

I knew what you were becomming,
I could feel you grow,
over and over,
and a bit more,
into this heart,
destined to be lone,

nature’s folly,
to hurt me again,
to entrap my mind,
for I ridiculed love once,

A favouriate song of mine.

Song: C'est la vie Artist :Ub40 ================== A woman came and said to me She'd seen a lady sell her baby For ten or twenty dollars maybe And everybody thinks she's crazy They're too blind to see She never failed to call attention To the things we never mention Real horror, daily, courtesy of your TV C'est La Vie Chorus A woman came and said to me Now listen very carefully There's brother killing brother People living on their knees Biting sugar coated bullets For the pain of this disease C'est La Vie A woman came and said to me She had a husband on an island Found his body on a wasteland Soldiers came and took him Just to torture her you see All alone she mourned her lover Crossed the sea to find a brother Maybe he could help her get her baby back for free C'est La Vie Chorus

=========================

musings

I roam,
beside the space where you exist,
pause once to look,
pause at that thought,
walk on,
only to turn around and call out to my soul,
standing there, looking at you,
as if transfixed,
with the strongest of the will,
they very soul that is afraid of belonging,
and being belonged,
from the perils that life has seen,
I walk back to it,
whisper inot my soul's ear,
It turned around.
looked at me,
smiled in a tear drop and held my hand,
we walked along,
away,
to share a hot cup of coffee and a smoke.

Two Minds

The poem below was written in collabloration with someone who inspires me. Each second para of it is by her

===============================

Frost on my window pane,
the lillies are dying,a slow death, but they fight,
against the cold and ice,
in search of a sunbeam
----------------------------------------------
I want you to wake up and feel the warmth,
shiver in my coziness, wish away the clouds,
silver lining come and wrap us up in a precious coccoon,
so tender, so secure.
----------------------------------------------
away from the darkness i turn to walk,
the light seems to die out,
as if fate itself is a slave,
to the pains of longings and living on
----------------------------------------------
all that matters is that glimpse of hope,
and not all those jewels of paradise
all that matters is one glimpse of hope
when you look into my sight,
when you look into my vision.
----------------------------------------------
only to blur in the distance,
like the sun setting on my back ,
as i walk away from living,
while nature mocks me,
i walk staring to the ground,
imprisoned in grief

Let go

Lost in the shadow,
of a thought where I belong,
in shades of longing and loving,
I explore my belief,
of being in love,
I know the feeling exists,
I try to drown it,
once bitten twice shy,
for I touched the moon once,
and it makes me afraid,
so amidst the poisoned hemlock blooms,
under the cover of the night,
past the witching hour,
I just close my eyes and feel,
my lips move but no one can hear me,
for they listen with their ears,
when I speak in the language of the heart,
so I rule,
In my destiny,
in the ruins of my past,
crumbling before me,
this time I let go,
for this time I understand love....

Hide In The Shadow

Rainy Country side,
walks in the rains,
the sun engulfed in a misty swirl of the clouds,
like me in thoughts,
of someone, distant, distinctly new,
a presence that prowls my thoughts,
to enchant me,
lure me,
I walk blinded,
not bewitched by its beauty,
not by its grace,
nor even its existence,
I walk for I feel contented,
feel it invoke peace in me,
some part of me that is still alive,
some part of me that still feels,
you stir the life in it,
like water to a dying plant,
that has been dying,
in thirst of water,
I look at the sky,
I see your presence, end to end,
the sky coloured, amethyst,
sparkles,
I call out to you,
hiding in the shadow,
shy,
afraid to stand in the same light as you,
afraid to lose sight of your shadow even,
losing myself after finding,
over and over,
Finally understanding,
love and joy,
in solitude,
healing in my fate,
wishing,
someday…
maybe….
when…

Darkness

I realized that I can pretend to be everyone and everything but deeper in my mind I am just me, something I cannot fool, I have been trying that since 14 years now. I am fighting a losing battle.

================================
Darkness
================================
Black as the night,
beyond the realm of light,
trapped amongst my mind,
as if amongst stone walls,
crying to be set free,
away from the bonds of living,
to never feel again,

I try,
To curb the endless desire of smiling,
that rises like the tide in me,
only to dry up each time it does,
either by my doings, or my fate
my past, my future,
surrounded in the colour,
the same one of the night.

Without words the voices scream into me,
as if to breathe into my lungs,
to augment my pains,
to make me curdle with fright,
as if to nullify the existence of joy itself,
beyond the grasp of my understanding,
my heart longs to smile,
even when it is not destined to.

To frighten me from joyous things
for it gifts me sorrow when turned overleaf,
My heart still walks to it,
uncontrolled, unshaken,
determined to smile,
hoping to maybe some day,

I caught it today,
in my palms,
stared at it,
cried and pleaded,
for I saw it bleed,
in stillness
loneliness,
surrounding me,
trapped in the prison of dark pain,
Darkness.....
Unending......
Pain...........
Sorrow....

Unuttered

Beneath the tide,
somewhere on the open seas,
in my haunting memories,
I see you sitting on some rocks,
golden locks, playing the conches,
where the seagulls fan you with their gentle wings,
and the fishes move in silent schools,
catching a glimpse of you,

I just walk by when I see you,
when awake and aware,
for I fear the very nature of possession,
for me it is boundless,
but I roam,
possessed,
bewitched by your very presence,
to just turn and look straight,
but my stare never goes beyond your shadow,
as if it fears too,
to stop from painting another soul,
onto a canvas, my eye white,
wiped clean from the last image that burnt,
made them wet,
hurt,

so I choose to hide in my own,
shadow and self,
to never think beyond,
just the inspiration,
for it binds me back to reality,
a place where I smile, cry and fall back,
and let go,

I met life,
hiding in my heart,
I live in it again,
alone,
I accept the fate, this time again,
only to keep the smile on,
on your face and mine…
in silence……..

Inspire me

Hey Guyz I think this is what I can best paint……..on my new inspiration…. Any guesses? 

like stone ridges,
entering the flesh,
while I walk in the water,
unaware that it is turning red,
as the water soothes the cut,

The depth just draws me
deeper into it,
as if it seems to call me,
the mist on the river’s surface,
weaving me images of silence,
killing my will,
forcing me to submit,
subject,
relentlessly,


To haunt me,
as if a spell cast,
unshakeable,
I surface,
try my formal denials,
shout as if i want to be freed,
But I dont let out my voice,
as if mocking myself,

at her brown locks,
watching her,
with closed eyes,
as if ignoring the very tug,
the presence and movement generates,
bewitched,

I turn around,
walk to the door,
turn back,
she seems to have hidden,
as if lost in the mist,
like the mist itself…..

I missed the Rainbow

I was afraid,indoors and hiding,
when the thunder struck,
the rains lashed at my door,
I clinged to my pillow,
undeneath the bed,
where I hid,

I fell asleep,
the rains ceased,
the sun came out,
the birds sang,
the breeze blew cool,

I was lost in sleep,
and my fear kept me hidden,
I awoke and looked out my window,
i saw an arc seven coloured wide,
stretching across the heaven, fading,
I wish I had been up earlier,
conquered my fright,

For I could have caught the rainbow,
in all its glory,


I shall fear no more,
for the storm brings me the colours,
makes me smile,
makes my heart joyful,
I shall hide no more,
I am not afraid anymore….

Pictures

The Powers of imagination

I am back to normality but then I visited soulless's blog and realized that I want to write on something sad, and I met Julia as well and told her a sad story, so here it comes, hope you all like this.

 

Silent Whispers.

Deafening,
as if to shatter my existence,
I hear you calling me,
as if the wind mocks me,
teasing me, to make me wilt,
cry in agony,

I was at the edge of the cliff,
hanging,
you just came visiting to loosen my grip,
I lost it,
I fell,
into love,
into a pain that it spawned,

I looked at you at my descent,
my fall that destiny named it,
as if into a bottomless pit,
I watched your face smile,
watching my soul trying to escape,

I fell to the ground,
I picked up myself,
walked uphill,
only to find you gone,
lost into the pages of my past,
stained with tears,
mine,

I sat at the cliff,
trying to reconstruct,
fragments from the memory,
like a puzzle missing most pieces,
only to lose my self in your thoughts,
absence got the better of me,

and you walked away,
my life accompanied you,
so did my smiles and little childish joys,
I now await,
as if in tranquil,
waiting for me to cease,
silently whispering,
begging to be liberated form pain.

I Dream, So I Am

Touch your dreams,
Soar amongst the silvery clouds,
Skywrite your name,
Off white, like cotton,
On the blue fabric,
The sky.
Spread above, Unreachable to one who cannot dream,
My realm is there,
Amongst those birds that fly,
High, far away from the ground,
This keeps me tied,
In longings and sadness,
I glide there,
Spreading my wings,
Watching the world below,
Fading behind me on the horizon,
Reminiscing of what was my past,
Only the moments of happiness and love,
I exist, I live on,
I’m a hero to my own self,
Flying farther into a voyage,
A journey of self discovery,
Immersing myself in the morning light,
Fresh,
Untouched by tears, neither mine nor yours,
I smile in its essence,
I dream, so I am.

Absolut Vodka Explained.

Well Hey I wrote Absolut Vodka as I love the 'Absolut Vodka' Campaign

'The Absolut vodka campaign showing the giant cold bottleincreased sales from 54000 cases to 2. 4 million cases in one year'

Absolut Vodka is a Swedish brand of vodka, owned by V&S Group, and produced at their facilities near Ũus, Scania in southern Sweden. Building on a four century tradition of producing Vodka at Ũus, Absolut was introduced in 1879 by the entrepreneur Lars Olsson Smith. Absolut is the third largest brand of spirits in the world after Bacardi and Smirnoff, marketed in 126 countries. The largest export market is the United States where close to 73 million litres were sold in 2003. More than 40% of the imported vodka in the USA is Absolut. Much of Absolut's fame is due to its long-running advertising campaign. Started around 1980, and with more than 1000 ads, the ad campaign is the longest running ever. Many of the ads are quite clever, always featuring an Absolut bottle-shaped object in the center and a title "ABSOLUT ____." at the bottom. ABSOLUT MANHATTAN. (http://www.absolutcollectors.com/gallery/ad.cgi?b=letter&l=m&a=manhattan), for example, features an aerial photo of Manhattan where Central Park is the shape of an Absolut bottle.

Absolut Vodka

Beautiful,
like liquid diamond,
Amongst the mountain mist,
I sit sipping,
clear as the finest spring water,
elevating myself to the heaven of peace,
Intoxicating, mesmerising,
erasing the past into a blur,
swirling like smoke that the breeze stirs,
to fragment the memories,
to return me to the reality,
awake, with eyes wide open,
to put me back on my feet,
to dance like a mad man,
enjoying my freedom,
away from the bonds and desires,
that love inculcates,
the vodka,
Makes me breathe easy.

light me a flame

Light me a flame,
make it roar like the strongest inferno,
seperate my freedom from me,
with the inferno in between,
give me pains of longing and absence,
break my will, crush my heart,
make me long for death, try to,
            
            then give me a choice,
            between freedom and desire,
            and hope , inspire,
            paint the pink skies of my world grey,
            frighten me, 

try to turn me indoors,
try to corner me,
try to watch me shed a tear,

            You shall still find me,
            walking amongst the clouds,
            with my feet on this ground,
            through the flames,

my freedom would call me,
build my will, soothe the pain,
and embrace me in it’s arms,

            I was born to be free,
            my brithright,
            I cannot fall,
            be a prey to the cravings,
            of the mortal desires,
            that love contemplates,
            like an ordinary mortal,
           one who fears freedom itself,

I live,
I cherish
my freedom.

Flights Of freedom

An eagle flies overhead,
into the redness of the setting sun,
free, on wings of glory,
of finding the happiness within,
into the red disc on the horizon,
amongst the clouds,

freedom,
from the longings of pains
memory,
to remind ,
to live,
to exist in the present,

far away from the tears
brought by the imagination
and a conjured seperation
where time stood still,

as if trapped
in some prison,

the bird,
by its mere flight,
taught me
guided me,
to break free,

I breathed ,
deep,
the last tear I shed
dried long ,
I smiled,

we exist to add meaning,
but first to smile,
the tears are to dry,
let them.

I awoke,
I walked on,
for I look for a friend,
hidden somewhere,
amongst the pink skyline,

I smile again..

The past being drowned before me.......... Freedom .... Freedom from the mist of the past, my new journey to reclaim my lost friend and to remind all around me is I am the fire itself, awaiting fuel............. not you anymore tiger, i want you back as a friend, for I understand it now. Stay close by, i cannot lose friends who teach me to live life better.........

Firestorm's Freedom

My last few looks at the past..

Firestorm's Freedom

Walking in The Mist

the past loomed around me,
trapped me in a page turned by time,
I awoke, today I flew,
tore the mist, rattled the pages,
to shine like the sun,
wrote my name on the skies
lit up the dark corners again,
that the saddness I felt darkend,

I rise out now
watch the mist swirl,
beneath my wings as I take flight,
fly with me, I let the cage open,
where I kept you trapped,

I opened my eyes,
heard the new day call,
be my witness, friend, inspiration,
for as I feel the wind on my face,
it’s chill shall fade

I dared, I could,
and on my newfound wings of freedom
I ask you to fly along beside,
as friend, as a traveller,
to meet me and bid goodbye often,
to remind me of the joys of life.


I just wanted to say that I understand, and all I ever shall need from you is something you can give, I want my friend back, I have been lost, sad and upset for reasons that you can and have the rights to call outrageously dumb, I promise I shall abide by the rules, and that I am sorry and I promise that you will not have a chance to complain anymore. Please consider my plea tiger.

P.S.  Tiger is something I have to call you as that is what I want you to be, something that is power, and untamed, that is what we all are buddy, you, me, Raj,Rahul are. Nothing short of tigers.

Prisoner of your absence

I feel the flame burning,
that burns me,
the flame called your absence,
the very one that also warms my soul,
with your thoughts,
makes me long to catch your glimpse,
to laugh with joy like a child,
as a daisy bloom feeling the first rains,
to feel and live in each fraction of the second,
to add meaning to my life,
for you touch the soul of mine,
that now is a prisoner,
on its knees, looking at the skies,
asking to be enchanted,
once again, to break the curse,
to purify my belief of loving you,
to love you a little more,
to crave for your presence,
only to speak to you,
not be loved ,
but to love you,
unconditionally and till time is time.

In Silence.

A feather, gentle, light and floating,
Landed beside me,
White, of a crane, flying overhead,
Into the morning sun,
I knew, another day had come,
To remind me of you,
To look into the mirror,
To blink at me lost in your thoughts,
To soothe the pain of my aching heart,
Beating in your absence,
That longs to witness,
A glory I call you,
What you are, nothing short of,
One that changes my very life,
The absence overpowering,
Breaks me apart,
While your thoughts mend me back,
To shatter and mend again,
As if my circle of life exists,
Revolving around you,
Chained to loving you,
The way you are,
The way you hurt,
The way you heal,
All that is you,
As I watch you grow on me,
In pain, absence, love and longing,
In silence…………..

Untitled.

The sands of time just pour on,
making me aware of the time flowing,
I turn back, watch you in the past,
recollecting you smile,
casting a glance on the road I see,
my tears tracing my current path,
I question, ponder over your thoughts,
My heart longs
to hear you, see you, know your presence,
To explode in a smile like an innocent child,
to fall on my knees,
to tell you how much I've longed for,
but my silence shall speak for me now,
I won't complain not even ask,
for your choices are my rules now,
I ask to be forgiven, from the heart,
for I ask only one thing, grant me if you may,
to not hate me, and give me all your pain,
I'll hold on to them, hide them in my heart,
watch you smile, and console my heart then,
for you shall know me as someone,
who borrowed your sorrows,
to watch you smile.

The silence

It shone like a bright ray,
that pierced my heart,
the absence of a soul I sought,
beyond the mountain ranges of living,
inaccessible till now,
I climbed them with ease,
her thoughts kept me strong,
and when she touched my heart,
I felt my soul replenished,
I found a will to live,
the absence grew stronger,
my love just grew,
and when I turned back, i saw a face,
sketched in the mountain mist,
I knew she had her choices,
I knew she couldn't understand,
her inability to comprehend love,
is what made me love her,
I walk, amongst the mist

hurt me with your words

like silver drops on the lotus leaf,

floating on the pond of my life,
you seem to evade me,

your presence is beyond my understanding,
for you seem to make my heart bleed,
when you cry,
only to hurt me more when your absence hits,
wrecking my life,
as if the shadows of torment wait to loom,
over me,when you drift away,
like a child I cry for your voice,
in want of belonging, in want of living,
to subdue the emptiness,
that seems to gnaw at my flesh,
at my heart, at my soul itself,
to burn,
I hear my soul wail,
for you to invoke the spirit of my life,
now dying in your absence,
release me from the prison of pain,
that runs in my veins like poison,
heal me with your words that hurt,
for they remind me that you still know me.

War

When the war was won,
we searched to crown,
the world was lost in grief,
some son, some father,
we lost some hopes, some desire,
the way we lost will to be crowned,
why did the sword strike,
why did the heart watch the other bleed,
how did we attain such brutality,
was it for the glory of the land,
would we carry it with us when we die,
I ask myself when I loved,
would I carry it with me to my grave?
maybe not,
maybe I’ll live on in the minds,
the very minds capable of chaos,
I loved for it taught me forgiveness,
towards the other soul,
who never understood love,
I am crowned as a heart that loves
only? you ask,
I will just smile at your question,
for you asked me from your heart
and that is where I now reside.

something like a child

If i could,
get the moon, hiding between the trees,
touch the skies, soar high,
feel the breeze beneath my wings,
and write my name on the skies,
the sun would set in pink,
the word would bloom only daisies,
and the trees would yeild chocolates
rice puff laden, packed in yellow,
the one you would like to fling through the window
to only go and fetch with me later,
for then you felt me hurt,
for then you understood the love I treasured
for when I had only one wish for myself,
I wished to love you with all my heart

Searching for the unicorn

The feeling,
uncontrollable,
undeniable, insatiable.
intangible,
like the red
in the sunset,
like the gentleness
of the voice,
the healing of it,
that soothes the pain,
of absence,
of hurt,
my heart that bleeds,
laid in front of you,
accompanied by my will,
that you broke,
the will to feign death,
now in fate’s arms,
on broken wings,
ruffled feathers,
i shed a tear,
for I tried to touch love,
it burnt my heart,
but it gave me memories,
to live in thoughts,
peace,
contentment,
hope,
and to love
with an unfathomable proportion.

Once Then

We all will stop one day for a brief moment,
after we taste success,to turn back and look
where we have reached,
look around us and see how much we left,
how much we lost,
we shall count the tears, touch our laughter,
feel the wounds inflicted in our heart,
we shall then seek resort,
for that brief moment we shall yearn,
to be remembered by someone,
who held us close, closer that the soul itself,
the one whom we left behind, the one we refused,
but then we shall walk on, for we shall smile knowing,
that the same one still does holds us in the heart,
if dead the tombstone shall bear the inscription,
if alive,the mortal’s heart,
we shall miss that one soul then, shed a tear,
then stop ourselves from shedding another,
for we know it shall hurt them more,
for they begged to be given our  sadness,
for they lived to see us smile,
then we shall remember love,
when we are miles away, long gone,
to a point of no return.

Why

Do you wish, ever
to evaporate, sublime,
to erase your own past,
to forget you existed a presence,
that went on, without focus,
neither direction nor meaning,
without being loved,
a heart that wept in agony,
each night when you tried to sleep,
only to feel your love grow,
an  existence that ridiculed itself,
did you feel the pain?
and beg for mercy?,
knowing that you shall not be granted so?
when  your existence demanded an end,
you didn’t submit then!
why did you live on?
live in pain, and agony?
was it for the extacy of loving?
a trip for you, like on some drug?
I did, i did it for love,
i did it for living, to feel the sun,
see her burn my heart,
to exist in an agony called life,
I took the road to love.

Unending

Pink sunsets, cotton clouds, soothing winds,
The past, gentle and so mesmerizing, touching,
How it grips you in its vastness, those days,
Those eyes and that smile,
They stop your heart, for a brief moment,
You are between heaven and hell,
Lost in a transition of happiness and sad,
They grip you with the tenderness of a child,
Only to claw your heart, inflict a hurt deep,
To make you beg for freedom, for liberation,
as if to erase your past,
You cry out,there may be no answers,
you plead god,
The only companion is your soul,
bleeding profusely, while you wait,
A wait that just seems endless,
You fall into an eternity of pain,
Of belonging and you belong to pain,
Yearning for death, while the love feeds you,
Keeping you alive, the very force that kills,
Without mercy, eating you alive.

conspicious

Presence, unforgiving, piercing,
like a nail tracing itself down my neck,
buried deep in my flesh,
i feel the pain paralyse me,
to drag me back to living,
to tear open the eyelids 
disturb my rarely found sleep,
to unleash a trauma, to mystify me,
mesmerised I follow,
walk into a trap of the self,
where you reign supreme,
nothing but you can heal,
my heart crushed between truth and lies,
caught between the fire and ice,
i ask for release,
your thoughts entrenched deep,
cease my fight, ease my will, curb the desire,
to live, I give up, I fall into you,
your eyes, lost, forever.

Erasure

Where shall you hide, when the feelings tide in,
And wash away that sandcastle of your dreams,
To erase it to non existence to totality,
Just like the sand shall, you shall be too,
Washed away by the wave of time,
No one shall recollect your existence,
Not a soul mourn your passing,
With out love, without hatred,
Indifference that’s what your were,
To and to be towards, nothing could change,
You touched the sun, and kissed the clouds,
You flew on broken wings, a hero you were,
Before the final slumber, the peaceful sleep,
Whom shall you cry out for?
Whose name, whose face shall you miss,
Whose voice shall make the pain ease?
if she arrives will you not fight death?
The absence shall pain, your soul shall crave,
You shall succumb to fate, you shall rise,
Only to fail, out of love, out in the cold,
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
Your only crime, unconditional love
Your redemption, suffering

The ways of all flesh

A worst nightmare, waking up in sweat,
whose you ask? Not just mine I say,
after those dreams cloud my sleep,
torture me,
like some knife gnawing through my flesh,
I scream,
at twelve past the witchin hour,
when you be sleepin,
think you is safe,in your homes,
hidden between your pillows,
and you close your eyes,
making you want to sleep,
how them eyes going, I ask?
you reply, in your awaken slumber,lost,
like me, lost in me now you shall remain,
soon to be far away,
but you shall carry me,
somewhere in your heart,
that be, calling my name
when ya see the colour black,
And those daisies that you garden blooms with,
shall bear the thorn of hope to decay,
howl in the nights ,
listen to ur heart,
howl it will, to keep you awake,
like you keeps me,
in your thoughts,
like some labyrinth , trap you and me,
and cry, shed a tear,
watch you fade, as the sun shines out,

Out through your door, out through,
through out your life,
I shall so shall you,
remember the twisted phase,
phased out,
only to realize,
the ways of all flesh,
we only live to die.


I am trying to write rap, i just altered this from the rap i wrote on http://nair-ritz.blogspot.com .
oh well this is me again, watching the world roll by , just the way I want it to. Maybe maybe not.

A phoenix

I shall fly far away,
leave you alone to your choices,
except one where you want me to stop loving you,
for I need that to fly away
I shall touch the deepest blue,
tear the clouds and bask in the sun,
dry my wings that are soaked by my tears,
when the skies shall build up with the dark clouds,
when the lightning shall burn my wings,
when I shall fall to the earth,
I'll remember that I am the phoenix,
forged in your love, I shall fly again,
this time with the wings of my love for you

The fire and the storm

It was love,
a flame that leapt into the skies,
made the stars, lit the moon,
started the sun’s fire,
Only to burn to cinders the walls,
which kept me happy in times of loneliness,
when I was far away from feelings,
feelings of belonging,
when you touched my life,
it was a deep gash to my mind,
in pain i learnt to rejoice,
in chaos of the mind I was at peace,
little did I know, it was inertia.
the inertia induced by your thoughts,
the ones that kept me in a trance,
while my heart bled in your longing,
my voice gave up, left me speechless,
for I forgot how to speak,
my soul forgot to smile,
for welded it is to your ever present absence,
I see someone’s soul call out to me
asking me to love,
I grow afraid, for she reminds me of you,
stronger that ever, as if to burn my heart,
the very flame that your love lit,
awaits to burn me to ashes,
and your thoughts shall then blow away,
whatever of me remains.

Collapse

A page flew out of my diary,
dated 23 rd of July,
like a knife in my heart, twisting each second,
bringing me memories of you,
your strawberry essence,
reminiscent of your face wash,
your shining hair, smelling sweet,
of  a morning when I met at 9:30
when you got late, when I waited,
same place, where I often met you,
those tracks below, those passerbys’
the same sun,under the same sky,
where I loved you, torched my heart,
in the flame of your existence,
only to burn now in your absence,
self immolation, maybe you call it so,
suicide they may say,
I called it love,
i awaited your verdict, to help me decide,
you left me in the storm,
I feel scared like a five year old
lost there, amongst the strong winds of life.
release me.

Icy Wisps

Grey eyes, piercing with vision
like a switch blade when they blink,
which stare at you, break your will,
making you want to fall in love,
when she passed me by, I just stopped,
stared as if smitten by the look,
the look in her eyes, beside the elevator,
how could I help, not notice,
dressed in brilliant blue,
like a storm that swept by,
I looked out throught the window,
beside the elevator,
my soul called out your name,
the name of a tiger,
the one whom I seem to be becomming,
each day that passes by,
when I shall be you finally,
I would have to search for me,
maybe I'd be in the heart,
of mine, for you never made me yours,
I made me you, my choice I know,
I live,
in dreams maybe,
someday you may want me to call....

As If death explained

As if to walk as the un-dead,
a body without the soul,without purpose,
to ruthlessly rectify belief,
in zombies amongst us, I walk,
a bleeding heart, an insane mind,
the only  difference is the blink of the eyes,
I walk mesmerised, on a journey
towards unknown lands, to explore, as if,
yearning to bask in the morning glow,
If i could find me there, somewhere,
like a fallen soul-less night walker,
whom death took away,incompletely,
to set an example of worthlessness,
to make me wilt like a green life ,
burning in the forest fire,
to ashes that take flight,
that glow and fade,
here i am, in your vision,
in a world, built around you,
existing as if to say,
here is death Explained.

A silly poem

maybe when the sun shines blue,
someday,
when the moon shall scorch,
the breeze shall wash away,
and the sea shall dry the land
maybe then I shall find Love,,
underneath some stones , unturned
awaiting me,

Circles in the sand.

“Circles”,”in the sand”, she says,
with a twinkle in her eyes,
“I draw Circles”, “I love them”
“I watch the tide wash them away”
“I make more circles”
A child of five,
gentle as a full moon night,
my daughter, those pink ribbions,
the two pony tails,
just as her mother wanted her to have,
I watch her draw, circles, in the sand,
someday she shall grow up,
be like the woman i loved,
a woman’s reminiscent in my memories
who’s choice washed  me away,
like the waves washing those circles this child creates,
like circles in the sand,

I hear the wind

I hear a voice, velvet, gentle, soothing,
I seem to know it,
as if someone close to my heart spoke in it,
I feel in it an essence, that brings a tear to me,
one for the joy ,
one for the sorrow,
the joy, of your essence,
the sorrow, of your absence,
i smile, shed a tear,
lose myself in a moment of bliss,
to rejoice in your essence, for it is short-lived,
and it shall soon fade,
push me into the depths of pain,
where your name shall be salt on my broken heart,
where my love shall burn in my veins,
cripple my walk, talk and vision,
to make me beg for mercy from the over-lord,
I shall still love, for loving you is the force,
the one that drives me, to love you more,
like a drug on my nerves,
I await a voice, your’s
to soothe the pains, all a lifetime may bring,
maybe for a momentary reason,
a moment that lifts me closer to heaven.

Worlds apart

A ray of light struck my garden,
played on the water pool,
reflected into my room,
ploughed my mind with your thoughts again,
as if to remind,
all that left me behind,
where I lay shattered ,
in my own garden, besides the daisies,
where you roamed once,
those pink ones still smile at me,
bring me a tear,
I remember how I’ve watered them,
with my tears since the day you left,
they soothe me,
labour of love, lost I wont say,
they are so much you,
like my soul that sings your name,
entangled, stranded,
amidst a journey called life,
they ask me why I cry,
when they smile at me,
like a madman laughing with tears,
I gently touch their petals,
they stand too 
awaiting to be erased of their existence
just like me.

Rewind

I smiled once I know,
a reminiscent memory of being at self,
I set out on a journey of love,
beyond those clear signs that forbid,
I spun the fabric of my love for you
now I’m lost in that transit
the colours have faded,
while I hung in my own sorrows,
like a linen set out to dry,
in the sun, 'you'
when it visited, it took away my colours,
the same I put in with so much desire,
now only fainted by your scorch,
I seek shelter in my mother's veil.
crying with my head on her shoulders,
telling her I love the very sun that scorches,
feeling safe in her arms,
she wipes my tears,
while I’m missing you,
as if transfixed in an unending moment,
where the eyes playback a scene of you walking away,
to wind back in the trauma,
that your absence brings.

My Quest

Of all the water that flows by,
southwards in its life time,
it cut a mountain in half,
a great divide, a gash deep,
separated the mighty mountains aside.
I am just like her,
unnerved, undeniable, totality,
she forever keeps at her flow,
I like her am in love,
to me love is a constant, a change,
that is constant as change itself.
I shall touch the skies,
swim the deepest oceans ,
I can conquer the tallest peaks,
write your name on the moon if I could,
but then I would just turn back,
when I attain all my quests,
for I would have failed in my life,
without you beside,
I am lost in turmoil.

Colours

Painted in yellow, by the sodium lamps,
the road below my foot just stretches endlessly,
towards my journey some 23 miles away,
as if a never-ending one,
I walk listening to the radio playing
as if like a background score, to soothe me,
to divert my mind from your longing,
I see your face in the moon,
watch you in every reflection,
caught in isolation, I just meander,
dragging along a broken heart,
along the road 
behind me my tears mark my route ,
as if to guide me home,
when you send me back,
where I shall have to return, again,
I carry the tears on my towel now,
for they may be unworthy of touching your ground,
your realm, where you rule, in your dominion,
I wish to stop breathing,
for the air in which you breathed,
is sacred to my heart,
how can I even let it flow,
through my lungs,
for they are so full of your presence
you, who is the soul to me.

Winds By The Bay.

In the faint afterglow, besides the bay,
where I sit chained by your memories,
entrenched in agony, the winds blow beside,
often to stop, as if to turn around, to comfort,
just to make me feel your absence,
overpowering my will to sustain life,
as if in a coma, I stare into the sun,
as it goes down, to plunge me into darkness,
My soul looks around, as I sit unmoving,
for a ray of light, a streak of hope,
maybe to hear you, to make me feel alive,
it gives up, sheds a tear,
comes back in me to weep,
I can hear the howl of the wind,
gently pulling my ear-lobes
like a mother lovingly tugs at it,
I just gather myself to walk,
besides the bay, watching the tide
as it comforts the sea shore.

Frozen River

Still, unmoving, undeniable,
like a river, powerful ad unforgiving,
in a raging thunder shower, flooded,
to take away everything that touches it,
so much you, so present,
like you washing away my smiles,
feeding my mind by force,
with the pain of your absence,
where my soul questions your role,
in my living, in my loving,
where I never asked you to love ,
but these don’t matter anymore,
you are a storming river,
flooding my mind, 
I’m so much ‘you’ now,
only that I’m frozen, in my loving,
I shall be so, my will shall die, I shall too,
but my heart and soul shall be here,
loving you, with each of your blink,
I grow stronger, I grow to love you deeper,
I remain, alone, but lost in your world,
You live in my thoughts,
Immortalised.

Torched

Like a flame burning through,
my veins, my heart, as if to strangle it,
I feel your thoughts crush, cripple my soul,
to unleash a pain, that makes me shiver,
I fall to the ground, when I hear your name,
as if my legs give up, they seem to die away,
I feel in me a poison rise,
the absence that engulfs my mind,
as if like fire, burns me from within,
the love I have treasured for you,
the same that makes you hate me,
the same that makes me crave for you,
though I burn in this hellfire of loving,
where I am to be ignored and hated by you,
the fire keeps me alive,
the fire burns in my soul now,
the fire is my soul now,
I was dead the day you left.

Instance

In silence, when the wind whispers,
i call out your name,
I hear no reply to my calling,
I gather my broken heart,
weep in absence,
I hear a reply now,
you speak to me from my heart.
Where I hid you,and keep you,
alive, though it causes pain,
as a million needles through my eyes,
like a rusty blade scraping my skin,
to yeild me a trauma,
I stand,
waiting for you,
with open eyes,
with an aching heart,
just to love you.

To feel the wind beneath my wings,
to soar amongst the dark rain clouds,
to soak my feathers with the first rain drop,
to spray it on you,
to catch the first ray of light at dawn,
to bask in the red to dry my feathers,
to fan you with them when you rest,
as I tell you tales of far away,
I dreamt of flight,
now my wings are clipped,
broken by your absence,
I fell, that day when you walked away,
I still will soar,
fuelled by my love for you,
to only return to say,
that I want to spend my lifetime with you.

Collateral

A gust of wind blows through, makes me shiver,
Surprises me , flying as a high flying eagle,
watching the world below as my dominion,
I turn around, I see her, fainty present,
embodied in my thoughts, like a thorn in my heart,
to suggest pain, even in my flight of freedom,
as if bewitched by her,
to love, as if it was worship, which still seems,
to have conquered my mind,
in dementia, you released me into, away from sanity,
in want of feeling freedom, I loved,
in want of love I broke free,
I stand here all alone, turning my back,
to a world exploding to cinders behind me,
I feel its warm winds, touching me by,
they cut my skin, I don’t cry in that pain,
I cried, you made me cry, for no reason,
I now cry for I fear it’s your turn now.

Arsenic

What can I say to a heart,
that your absence corrodes,
to question the core of my existence,
to make me gasp for breath,
knowing I have to live in your choice,
to exist so, without questioning 'why',
as if to sustain myself in this profound pain,
that I cast on myself, maybe fate,
the same pulled us apart,
though my fate is your slave,
I hide in its shadow,
in shame of being vulnerable to you,
to look twice at my reflection,
to realize it's mine,
to curb the desire to stop breathing,
I call out your name,
a name that gives me wings,
to ascend into the brilliant blue,
amongst the morning sun lit clouds,
where I write your name,
with a feather of my dream, my pen,
the cloud my canvas,
I falter from reality to love you,
I accept your gift of hatred,
for it comes from your heart,
a place beyond reach or rights,
where even my God asks to enter,
where I stand behind him far away,
a mere mortal entombed by my own love for you.

Sleeping Child

I wish the angels sing sweet lullabies,
serenade you to sleep tonight,
you may lose forty winks
when you remember me,
for I'm as if in a coma,
from your prolonged absence,
the soul that once smiled,
awaited, knowing you shall arrive,
the next day, when the sun rose,
I used to sleep in anticipation,
Sleep is not easy to come by anymore,
for you haunt my memories,
making me search in the dark,
for a vision of you,
for the sound of your voice,
masked by the cricket sounds in the night,
I search for you,
in a deadlock of living and death,
caught between hope and reality,
I await the rains now,
to laugh at the rains like a madman,
for June shall soon arrive.



(In india the monsoon arrives in June.)

Moments

Somewhere where the winds blow,
bringing hopes to some in love,
they look out the window,
to soothe their pain,
the one that seperation brings,
for just a glimpse,
maybe for a word,
or for news that all is well,
to shed a tear in joy,
even if to wither in pain,
to feel her memories burn,
through the veins as blood flows,
while she, unaware, lives on,
in her own world,
whose mistake? to often ask,
no one to blame, a life's play,
a mockery, a jokey some may say,
I believe I call it love,
and I shall do so,
as long as I breathe,
but only a tiger,
the one who stole my heart,
and my sorrows,
I still wait maybe in hopes,
maybe as a friend.

The calling

As I Await infinity,
this plundering reality,
with your absence
deprives me of my smiles,
leaves me cold, dying,
as though killed in cold blood, murdered
ruthlessly, as though life has become still
the shadows of death just cover me,
killing me each second, but make me live,
fed by your memories, my llife shudders,
keeping me alive, to live on, in this agony,
an agony I call my existence, without you,
a synonym to profound pain,
is what your absence is,
come back, touch my life,
I forgive you, for all that you are,
For the love entrenched in me,
inseperable from all thoughts.

Beyond the touch, beyond the skies
somewhere where the stars twinkle,
and write your name in formation
I wish to fly there, your name lighting my wings
like my love for you lit my life,
as it still does today, when we are miles apart
some 23, your ways and mine,
only to be propelled further,
The only tears were mine, then and now
just to catch your glimpse,
to see you smile, knowing all is well
I wish to be amongst those stars
to float endlessly in space,
to watch over you, love you more,
to turn around and look at God,
to tell him what you are to me,
he knows but he pretends
for you are what is my blood of life
nothing else, nothing more,
just life as I exist, for whom I breathe
for whom I was sent to love,
now I exist in solitude, I cry,
maybe I fell short of loving you well.

Tangent

Like those lines touch and go,
far away to seperate,
life stands asking for a statement from me,
why we are so far apart,
maybe we are vendetta's victim,
on one side my fate,
on the other, your choices
just to reflect on ourselves, we abide,
we know not why,
how, where and if ever,
the love that i have for you, grows
just to overwhelm, making me live on,
not in hopes of finding you,
but in want of loving you more,
I await for the ultimatum,
On my knees praying to you,
praying to god,
to be well, for you to be kept well,
maybe someties when the winds call,
I'll ask them to send you a wave of peace
to gentle touch your hair,
to tell you I love you.

Oh

That reminds me http://www.orchidseven.com/ my security site is up and running.

Consecutive

I call out to her in the mist,
crying as she walks away,
like my calls were unheard,
like I am some stranger.
back then when I was called
i would turn around, contented
for she needed a shoulder,
at times a friend,
at times like a fatherly figure
now the winds have changed,
blown away my feeble world,
burnt to ground all I had
but I still turn around
I hear her, as echoes of my past,
for she is in every breath,
in every moment, 
in every instance I occur in.
to see her, to hear her,
to make her feel alright,
I wish to exist, to love,
to just ache, but to love again.

Firestorm

Bleed in the pain of loving,
my mind, you are so by your choices,
of the high places you kept the one
the one who stabbed your heart,
the very one

they shall now bear witness
when you sit and cry alone
for loving one who was afraid to
they will remind you to stop,
you wont, I know,

waiting ,
for a glimpse of her,
a wave of her voice,
to know she smiles,
you sit there,
lost in a trance,

rise, mind, whom i call ‘firestorm’,
you are the bringer of change
render me free, from the pain
light that hope back, teach me,
to love her more
in this absence of serenity

You

some times when i dream
of english fields and sunset evenings
awaiting your arrival
with a lonely heart
i love the wait
for you shall heal my heart
with ur presence,
make me love you more

i know it may be long
and your journeys far
somewhere beyond the horizon
where the sky kisses the earth
just to catch a glimpse
of you each morning I may wait
you may come, you may be late

My love for you shall bring
a smile, in pain of absence
but I'll just love you
endlessly,
if you care, I know not
but I know I do,
i know I can,

i await, you,
your voice,
your presence,
i treasure you,
deep in my heart

MSN

Awaiting a chance,
to see the brown pawn turn green,
to talk about journeys,
tigers, lillies, dreams and destinations,
to offer roses, the sleepy moon,
emotions in small circular existence,
like someone speaking, unseen,
questioning me who, why, where,how
to render a pain sometimes a red cross,
across my name, blocked,
only to be released, again,
your smiles,naughty,confusions
teaching me to love you more,
I just keep awake to catch you praying,
to see my messenger’s popup.

Watching

I lost my heart,
on your roads,
I cry in your absence,
with tears,
await you,

not for company,
to only know all is well,
for all I love fades,
like fog in the morning sun
like you faded,
you chose, I cried,

I hide, from you,
from myself, from god
fearing they may take away,
your memories, that's all i have
you sent me away,

I walk looking back,
to trip and fall,
to get up and walk,
watching you again,
fading into the horizon,

I curse the earth,
for it being round,
wishing it was flat,
to just see myself fade,
away in life watching you



well tiger, you still live on in my heart, try as you might, I cannot hate you, never, can just love you.

Thoughts

Well dark angel was written on an ispiring poem that tigerlilly shared with me. Hope everyone likes it.

The Sea calls

Ever heard the sea churning,
Calling your name,
Waiting to spray,
Tease you,
drench you,
touch you,
As if to soothe you,
walk it’s beach,
Barefoot, feel the sand,
Kissing your soles,
While you walk,
I’ve walked there,
It feels like heaven,
It awaits to give you a smile,

Dark angel

In the cold of the night
when the wind chills the lone
solo, walking in pain
without mercy when you hunt him down
do you even consder,
forget care,Blink even
as you take over him
put him to sleep for eternity
you are just one ruthless existence
like the hope of love
another torment for mankind
to kill but to keep alive
do you ever turn around and see
when you stalk the nights
a heart of darkness you have they say
a heart do you have?

To infinity

In life’s boundlessness,
while growing I stop, ponder,
think of you, then carry on,
a moment each minute,
in the honour of love,
like some heaven sent angel,
you appeared,
life was happy for a while,
I faltered from reality,
I don’t regret,
for it was a choice,
to love an angel, to crave for,
I bury my love in the ground,
cast a tombstone, a big one,
inscribed ‘here is the love’
it will wait,  never rest,
await resurrection,
to infinity and beyond.

 

Thank you www.google.com , you guys are gave me the line to infinity and beyond, hope it is ok if i use it here. Hey tiger you are still the one, but i’ve learnt to put a lid on my mouth.

Copper

In dreams,
l find me marching,
down those roads,
those roads of lone,
silent in the black,
not a soul in sight,
with the wind, whistling,
humming to me a lullaby,
sweet like your speech,
like a divine melody,
loving me as it blows.
since you are gone,
you taught me mercy,
you showed me truth,
I walked the path of life,
your thoughts, my torch,
show my way,
now I keep it burning,
deep in my heart,
burning me from within,
in absence of your smile,
in absence of your voice,
23 miles of copper along side,
await to carry your voice,
they too miss,are dying like me
devoid of your presence,
nothing but static,
all along, from your end to mine.

Presence

I walk along those roads again,
Where I walked with you, long ago,
Besides those fleeting taxi cabs,
Amongst that evening crowd, winding home,
From the 9:00 pm train departing homeward
I stand there some 23 miles away from home,
With a smoke in my hand, I touch that road,
To trace our walk, now forgotten by you,
I often watch through the window,
Each time my train passes by your station,
I reach out and feel the air,
Knowing you breathed in it,
I feel in it your essence,
Of you and your strawberry face wash.
I watch the sun and envy it at times,
But thank the light touching me too,
It carries me your presence,
Reflected from your beautiful hair,
I’ve learnt to love the world,
For I know you see it with your eyes,
The ones that brought me peace once,
Now I watch the world bask in their light.
But I carry a smile, the one loving you brought,
That taught me love, forgiveness and patience
Now I raise my hands towards god,
To thank him everyday, for creating you.

Intrepid Reality

Sailing through the storms,
on a single mast, if need be,
to fight an army a thousand strong,
alone, single handedly,
to attain flight, through lightning filled skies
on broken wings, flashes running through me,
to scale the highest icy peaks,
barefoot, if it shall have to be,
to walk through a raging firestorm
feel its blaze, stark naked, if it calls,
hold my heart in the palm of my hand
feel it dying, bleeding endlessly,
to smile, to look back, to laugh at life,
that torments me with your absence,
To dream, open-eyed,
to swim in the depths of some blue eyes,
to reach out and touch destiny,
to vanquish defeat, I will live,
I can now,
Love taught me.


Finally a poem with my page's title. Well tiger that's about things you make me capable of, hey and tigerlilly thank you for inspiring me,

Recoil

Hope, it arises from the ashes,
of my past, burnt in love,
someday soon I shall fly,
on the wings of change, to smile,
to catch the first light at dawn,
to see the world, embalmed in change,
to feel the wind again in my face,
the warmth of the sunset,
to dream again, free,
to soothe my pain
I'll rise out of the ashes,
to love,
to love her again.

return

Godsmack’s ‘I stand alone’ is really full of pain if you understand carefully.

Well here is me again, writing out of my heart.

On a collision course,
the way towards fate,
me, my journey, and my maps,
in the palm of my hand, my fate,
awaiting resurrection,
something only your presence brings
to be resurrected again,
as though from an age of desolation,
though it’s been a few weeks,
render me away from this static life,
breathe back the life into me,
down the walls holding me captive,
take me beyond the dreams,
that I as a child in innocence saw,
bring that smile back in me life,
back to my face, subdue the pain,
release me,
touch my soul, as you touched once,
release me,
bring me back to the living,
love me.

The realm of pain

Inseprable, undeniable you stand,
like a wall of steel, pain I recognize you
waiting in the shadow to engulf me,
I fear not you, I fear myself,
you shall come, try to overwhelm,
you shall fail, you shall be denied,
denied of pleasure in your attempt,
I don’t forsake you,
I have conquered you, lived you,
seen a denial more powerful than you,
touched a denial as powerful as death itself,
I’ve leapt beyond the realm of you,
now where I stand I rule,
but meet me, if you shall desire to,
I’ll welcome you, offer you a place,
for you have lived alongside,
like an honest companion, a friend,
forever ready to embrace me,
and for all my life’s conquests,
I praise you, you taught me lovve,
compassion, friendship and all,
now you are a part of my life,
just don’t leave me again.

Firestorm

When the winds burning,
burn the green in my world,
would you smile?
knowing I wilt in pain?
would you torch my mind?
hold the flame to burn my heart?
watch me smile at you?
or would you just put out the flame?
the flame of my existence,
to end my suffering?
or would you just hold my hand,
pull me away from my torment?
something that your absence paints?
how would you justify,
to yourself, to your world?
when you knew what I sought,
and about what I need in your existence?
would you just let me fade?
I know you can't, but you would have to.

Don Juan DeMarco

Don Juan DeMarco I loved that movie. Guys and Gals if you ever get time please watch it, it touched my soul when i was 20.

Persistent

Recurring thoughts,
in a melancholy,
absurdity enclosing,
fast approaching
I feel it's claws,
entering my flesh,
subjecting me to pain,
making me long for a vision,
of you, harbouring hatred, even if,
just to catch a glimpse,
to satiate myself,
to float in that moment,
seems like I ask to touch the moon,
a moon you are to my world,
that soothes the scorching world,
in my tormented existence,
just to love you before I fade,
into dust, into nothingness.

some other linx

Hey there world there are two more blogs i have.

Strange romances
http://spaces.msn.com/members/maxritz

and

cryptic writings
http://nair-ritz.blogspot.com

hope you all like the crap i write there as well

vandetta's victim

Kill my will, burn my heart,
with all the forces subject me to torment,
slit my throat, make me drown,
suffocate in my own blood filling my lungs
let me feel the life drain,
wont hurt like your absence does,
I hear my soul scream, wither in pain,
in a blood curlding scream,
how would you know?
why would you even care,
even consider? Why?
not that love is a path of flowers,
nor is loving you one,
loving you makes me realize,
we exist, we shape and redefine life.


(vandetta's victim)
Noun: Vandetta : van’ detu
A feud in which members of the opposing parties murder each other.