In the twilight

In a twilight, when I was alone, sitting in the darkness
Like the loneliness had forever captured made me its slave
I saw a face looking into my home,
Searching something in its darkness
I felt I knew her, I tried gnawing at my past
But it wasn’t , but it felt so known
Amongst the fog lit doorway I saw a face
I was transfixed, like a spell was cast
You called my name, I forgot mine at that
I wanted to reach out, touch that face
i woke up, I still try to find that dream

lost in his forest of thoughts.

Animesh this is for you
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Lost in his forest of thoughts.
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He walked through the forest,
His new found land a place in his mind
Kept hidden away from the world’s sight
he is king, the lone ruler, his kingdom without a boundary
he has ruled since he was a child
the hair grey , shows weariness, his forehead wrinkled
his eyes still smile, catch yours, transfix them
and then he laughs sometimes, into the empty night
talks to it, I guess he is mad
I still don’t agree to my guess though, I admit his sanity
He lived his way, hurt, alone, in sad
but you can never tell, he never told you
he didn’t tell me, but I watched him as I grew

He died today, in his sleep
he was holding an envelope, the money he owed
I was tired of declining so I drove to pick it up
I read a note attached, “brother here is yours “,
“I cannot go with dues at hand.”
I felt my heart sink in my chest
Poor brother Ani had died
now his soul is lost,
lost in his forest of thoughts.

Spring wait

What shall I say in the spring?
When the yellow shall spread itself on the green
And open up as a flower
Amongst the wilderness
And the earth shall show us that there is hope
After the bad winter
And when the snow shall melt shall it flood my garden
Will those icicles on my window melt?
And give way to the incoming breeze
So richly laden with the smell of her
Like the last time she visited
But would she touch the flowers in my garden again
And would she smile and enchant the trees and the wind
Where would she dance, which part of the garden, would she dance all over
And spin and cast a spell over all
And then will I wait for another coming
Of her next spring
These are my questions
I ask the wind and the sun these

Absence and like

Some words melt the time
The fabric of it between us together
The distance that I have between my old memories and new
Where the world dissolves
And covers me in a liquid frenzy of unknown color
Where on waters wade you
And you kick in it, splash it
Little swan
So white so gentle
An untrue representation of you that I portray


When shall I wake up and feel you missing forever
And recover from my age old illness of longing
Of missing you, of wanting one I cannot have
Of the mild heavenly feeling that you instill
Like a drug entering my brain
Hallucinating
When shall I kill the craving and realize
That you are gone away for good


Shall I live on in this solitude?
Desperation for the glimpse of you
And then hate myself over for playing the fool
Or shall I bleed, the very life out of me
Like this and then end up as curled in my pit of agony
Of lifelessness and loneliness
I seek not love any more, I think, I say
But the truth shall remain
The hurt is deep, imprinted, engraved
In my soul, a hurt of missing you

Black tinted glass

When I shall pass by the stepping stones of your home
I shall call your name, scream my heart out
but it shall be the voice of my heart
and I know the winds shall bring me your essence
Which wanders there, a haunting, for me
but you have left me, rendered me to dust in your heart
I can roll up the glass, tinted windows of my car
and I shall speed away, away from your home
and then I shall stop far away, LOOK at the road
and think of you again,
for I feel so lone,
amongst the crowd I call my own
when you left me behind you took a part of me away
the part that felt each breath it took , the pulse of my vein
here I am trapped in this isolation behind my heart's tinted windows