Darkness

I realized that I can pretend to be everyone and everything but deeper in my mind I am just me, something I cannot fool, I have been trying that since 14 years now. I am fighting a losing battle.

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Darkness
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Black as the night,
beyond the realm of light,
trapped amongst my mind,
as if amongst stone walls,
crying to be set free,
away from the bonds of living,
to never feel again,

I try,
To curb the endless desire of smiling,
that rises like the tide in me,
only to dry up each time it does,
either by my doings, or my fate
my past, my future,
surrounded in the colour,
the same one of the night.

Without words the voices scream into me,
as if to breathe into my lungs,
to augment my pains,
to make me curdle with fright,
as if to nullify the existence of joy itself,
beyond the grasp of my understanding,
my heart longs to smile,
even when it is not destined to.

To frighten me from joyous things
for it gifts me sorrow when turned overleaf,
My heart still walks to it,
uncontrolled, unshaken,
determined to smile,
hoping to maybe some day,

I caught it today,
in my palms,
stared at it,
cried and pleaded,
for I saw it bleed,
in stillness
loneliness,
surrounding me,
trapped in the prison of dark pain,
Darkness.....
Unending......
Pain...........
Sorrow....