Watching

I lost my heart,
on your roads,
I cry in your absence,
with tears,
await you,

not for company,
to only know all is well,
for all I love fades,
like fog in the morning sun
like you faded,
you chose, I cried,

I hide, from you,
from myself, from god
fearing they may take away,
your memories, that's all i have
you sent me away,

I walk looking back,
to trip and fall,
to get up and walk,
watching you again,
fading into the horizon,

I curse the earth,
for it being round,
wishing it was flat,
to just see myself fade,
away in life watching you



well tiger, you still live on in my heart, try as you might, I cannot hate you, never, can just love you.

Thoughts

Well dark angel was written on an ispiring poem that tigerlilly shared with me. Hope everyone likes it.

The Sea calls

Ever heard the sea churning,
Calling your name,
Waiting to spray,
Tease you,
drench you,
touch you,
As if to soothe you,
walk it’s beach,
Barefoot, feel the sand,
Kissing your soles,
While you walk,
I’ve walked there,
It feels like heaven,
It awaits to give you a smile,

Dark angel

In the cold of the night
when the wind chills the lone
solo, walking in pain
without mercy when you hunt him down
do you even consder,
forget care,Blink even
as you take over him
put him to sleep for eternity
you are just one ruthless existence
like the hope of love
another torment for mankind
to kill but to keep alive
do you ever turn around and see
when you stalk the nights
a heart of darkness you have they say
a heart do you have?

To infinity

In life’s boundlessness,
while growing I stop, ponder,
think of you, then carry on,
a moment each minute,
in the honour of love,
like some heaven sent angel,
you appeared,
life was happy for a while,
I faltered from reality,
I don’t regret,
for it was a choice,
to love an angel, to crave for,
I bury my love in the ground,
cast a tombstone, a big one,
inscribed ‘here is the love’
it will wait,  never rest,
await resurrection,
to infinity and beyond.

 

Thank you www.google.com , you guys are gave me the line to infinity and beyond, hope it is ok if i use it here. Hey tiger you are still the one, but i’ve learnt to put a lid on my mouth.

Copper

In dreams,
l find me marching,
down those roads,
those roads of lone,
silent in the black,
not a soul in sight,
with the wind, whistling,
humming to me a lullaby,
sweet like your speech,
like a divine melody,
loving me as it blows.
since you are gone,
you taught me mercy,
you showed me truth,
I walked the path of life,
your thoughts, my torch,
show my way,
now I keep it burning,
deep in my heart,
burning me from within,
in absence of your smile,
in absence of your voice,
23 miles of copper along side,
await to carry your voice,
they too miss,are dying like me
devoid of your presence,
nothing but static,
all along, from your end to mine.

Presence

I walk along those roads again,
Where I walked with you, long ago,
Besides those fleeting taxi cabs,
Amongst that evening crowd, winding home,
From the 9:00 pm train departing homeward
I stand there some 23 miles away from home,
With a smoke in my hand, I touch that road,
To trace our walk, now forgotten by you,
I often watch through the window,
Each time my train passes by your station,
I reach out and feel the air,
Knowing you breathed in it,
I feel in it your essence,
Of you and your strawberry face wash.
I watch the sun and envy it at times,
But thank the light touching me too,
It carries me your presence,
Reflected from your beautiful hair,
I’ve learnt to love the world,
For I know you see it with your eyes,
The ones that brought me peace once,
Now I watch the world bask in their light.
But I carry a smile, the one loving you brought,
That taught me love, forgiveness and patience
Now I raise my hands towards god,
To thank him everyday, for creating you.

Intrepid Reality

Sailing through the storms,
on a single mast, if need be,
to fight an army a thousand strong,
alone, single handedly,
to attain flight, through lightning filled skies
on broken wings, flashes running through me,
to scale the highest icy peaks,
barefoot, if it shall have to be,
to walk through a raging firestorm
feel its blaze, stark naked, if it calls,
hold my heart in the palm of my hand
feel it dying, bleeding endlessly,
to smile, to look back, to laugh at life,
that torments me with your absence,
To dream, open-eyed,
to swim in the depths of some blue eyes,
to reach out and touch destiny,
to vanquish defeat, I will live,
I can now,
Love taught me.


Finally a poem with my page's title. Well tiger that's about things you make me capable of, hey and tigerlilly thank you for inspiring me,

Recoil

Hope, it arises from the ashes,
of my past, burnt in love,
someday soon I shall fly,
on the wings of change, to smile,
to catch the first light at dawn,
to see the world, embalmed in change,
to feel the wind again in my face,
the warmth of the sunset,
to dream again, free,
to soothe my pain
I'll rise out of the ashes,
to love,
to love her again.

return

Godsmack’s ‘I stand alone’ is really full of pain if you understand carefully.

Well here is me again, writing out of my heart.

On a collision course,
the way towards fate,
me, my journey, and my maps,
in the palm of my hand, my fate,
awaiting resurrection,
something only your presence brings
to be resurrected again,
as though from an age of desolation,
though it’s been a few weeks,
render me away from this static life,
breathe back the life into me,
down the walls holding me captive,
take me beyond the dreams,
that I as a child in innocence saw,
bring that smile back in me life,
back to my face, subdue the pain,
release me,
touch my soul, as you touched once,
release me,
bring me back to the living,
love me.

The realm of pain

Inseprable, undeniable you stand,
like a wall of steel, pain I recognize you
waiting in the shadow to engulf me,
I fear not you, I fear myself,
you shall come, try to overwhelm,
you shall fail, you shall be denied,
denied of pleasure in your attempt,
I don’t forsake you,
I have conquered you, lived you,
seen a denial more powerful than you,
touched a denial as powerful as death itself,
I’ve leapt beyond the realm of you,
now where I stand I rule,
but meet me, if you shall desire to,
I’ll welcome you, offer you a place,
for you have lived alongside,
like an honest companion, a friend,
forever ready to embrace me,
and for all my life’s conquests,
I praise you, you taught me lovve,
compassion, friendship and all,
now you are a part of my life,
just don’t leave me again.

Firestorm

When the winds burning,
burn the green in my world,
would you smile?
knowing I wilt in pain?
would you torch my mind?
hold the flame to burn my heart?
watch me smile at you?
or would you just put out the flame?
the flame of my existence,
to end my suffering?
or would you just hold my hand,
pull me away from my torment?
something that your absence paints?
how would you justify,
to yourself, to your world?
when you knew what I sought,
and about what I need in your existence?
would you just let me fade?
I know you can't, but you would have to.

Don Juan DeMarco

Don Juan DeMarco I loved that movie. Guys and Gals if you ever get time please watch it, it touched my soul when i was 20.

Persistent

Recurring thoughts,
in a melancholy,
absurdity enclosing,
fast approaching
I feel it's claws,
entering my flesh,
subjecting me to pain,
making me long for a vision,
of you, harbouring hatred, even if,
just to catch a glimpse,
to satiate myself,
to float in that moment,
seems like I ask to touch the moon,
a moon you are to my world,
that soothes the scorching world,
in my tormented existence,
just to love you before I fade,
into dust, into nothingness.

some other linx

Hey there world there are two more blogs i have.

Strange romances
http://spaces.msn.com/members/maxritz

and

cryptic writings
http://nair-ritz.blogspot.com

hope you all like the crap i write there as well

vandetta's victim

Kill my will, burn my heart,
with all the forces subject me to torment,
slit my throat, make me drown,
suffocate in my own blood filling my lungs
let me feel the life drain,
wont hurt like your absence does,
I hear my soul scream, wither in pain,
in a blood curlding scream,
how would you know?
why would you even care,
even consider? Why?
not that love is a path of flowers,
nor is loving you one,
loving you makes me realize,
we exist, we shape and redefine life.


(vandetta's victim)
Noun: Vandetta : van’ detu
A feud in which members of the opposing parties murder each other.

The summer is here, no word from you
as if my life just walked out on me,
to turn around to tease me,
your memories now come visiting,
just to mock at me longing for you,
just as you would have longed for me,
if I was a good human, I wish I was,
profoundy accepted though, this silly existence,
I know it as ‘unchangable me’,
each step I took closer to love,
it just ran, took a flight, away farthest,
maybe I shall never be loved,
I do not wish to be, for I know the truth,
I have no place left in my heart now,
for you exist in every inch of it,
and grow, overpowering my will,
now grown weak, then it was strong,
for it wanted to love you,
now in the trauma of absence,
its reality breaks, shatters, into nothingness,
I still don’t regret loving you.

Hey it’s the 23rd Of this month. Nine months ago I fell in love and it feels like a life time. Well I know she will be alright, I miss her so damn much, the way she says things, the way she smiles, well everything about her. I am happy I never made any mistakes, all I did was love her with all the life force I could, she has many people who want to be with her, and I don’t let anyone else get closer to me, well am I crazy? no it’s just that I cannot even share a sngle moment of her thought with anyone else. You all may find me smiling and laughing all the time at the office but the ugly truth is I just do it to avoid showing what I feel. I’ll just wait for a day when she may feel she wants to talk to me. I don’t want any other woman to even enter onto the same tile I stand on. Well Tiger I love you, that’s all I can say, still and continuing. You did everything possible to make me hate you but my dearest darling love I still keep loving you more and your absence will kill me.

Stone walls, cold, trap me,
in your thoughts, renew the pain,
make me long, beg, cry for you,
just to love you, just to heal my life,
I await, like I’ve always waited,
to love you, a little more and again,
to breathe the air, our presence shares,
to feel alive again,
somewhere deep within you know,
how it feels to love and miss,
in your silence, in your absence,
my longing grows,
touch my life, alter it, be mine,
tell me you shall never leave my side,
then stab me, kill me, before you leave
I wont complain nor cry,
I want to die, seeing you one last time
in my love’s arms, telling you I still love you
in your arms before the earth takes me in her’s.
 

Obliterate

o·blit·er·ate ( P )
(-blt-rt, -blt-)tr.v. o·blit·er·at·ed, o·blit·er·at·ing, o·blit·er·ates
To do away with completely so as to leave no trace.
To wipe out, rub off, or erase (writing or other markings).
Medicine. To remove completely (a body organ or part), as by surgery, disease, or radiation.

They met, at arms length, walked along,
parted,on their way, in trust once,
people, mutual, close,
now disjoined, in one's anger,
over being loved, endlessly,
victimized, maybe, maybe not,
maybe one of them had a better choice,
both right in their own,
one chose lonelinesss,
and the other her dreams,
eventually, to fall in love, in parting,
both alien to each other's absence,
only to find themselves far away,
in fate's arms, in tears,
obliterated.

beyond the clouds

Somewhere far above,
where the sky dissolves the red sun,
and the clouds make the rays,
in a cloud burst, in the rain,
to fall on the old roads,
upon which I still remember walking by,
visiting her, walking along, homewards,
then when she wished for my company,
some millions of years ago.
That’s what her absence seems,
as if a day each second,
like years each hour that passes by,
in absence of a woman I chose to love,
a woman, a murdrer of my heart,
now dead, still holds on to your name,
the heart did as, now my soul does too,
just to love you, just to hold you,
to tell you what you mean to me.

A River's promise.

Gently wade through, these waters are silent,
they shall sing for you should you feel sad,
drink from it, feel it satiate your thirst,
if I may, let me hold your hand, walking through.
She was there, eroding my hurt,
the ones love put, deep in my heart,
you often come to revive me from pain ,
relieve  her doing so,
she often asks me about you,
I can hear it in her flow,
she consoles me, shows your reflection,
that she has treasured for me of you last spring visit.
each tear drop she absorbed,
she cried alongside,
she too misses you, awaits you,
often asks me, then pacifies.
She tells me one day you shall listen,
and realize from your heart,
and then shall know love,
then think of me,
then miss me,
if so,
come beside her shores at then,
she won’t complain nor ask,
I took a promise, she is bound to my love for you,
She’ll make you smile, for she loves me.

a torment of the self

To wake up each day, with a sunken heart,
knowing to be in love, wishing to be heard,
punished for no crime of mine, but only love,
to exist in torment, subjected, self inflicted,
you ask yourself, why?
you can feel your head explode,
awaiting without a reason,
to just love someone, forever, to never stop,
this time to keep you feelings hidden,
only now, you find her walking away,
when all you asked in life was nothing,
except to be accepted for the self,
to not be loved, but to love,
living in the shadows, shadows of loving,
questioning life, living, begging for death to have mercy.

 

Well tiger wants to be away, it pains. Did I even ask her to love me? no all I need is to hear her, well now that she is ignoring my existence, maybe even condemning my life, I have to just await my trial by hellfire. I walk away, in tears, in pain, but it’s OK, I know you are happy, smiling, i will just wait, your calling, I’ll come back, fly on the wings of friendship, not just because of love, but for a friend that I found in you is still hidden behind all the silly things you do.

Tower of silence

A red disc in the sky,
going down somewhere far on the horizon,
casting a veil of black,
gripping me with a harsh reality,
that another day has passed,
when I haven't been touched by your smile,
nor heard your voice to soothe my soul,
Am I dead? I ask myself?
No but I feel like I'am ,
like I dwell in the tower of silence.
Every second is vulturine,
eating into my soul,
decaying my mind,
I shiver,
each moment your thoughts run,
burning my veins,
my blood now turning cold,
awaiting my fate,
to breathe my last soon,
being killed by an inch,
every split second,
In your absence.

Mined Roads. 

longings

Well sometimes life seems to be on high octane gas, we accelerate down the path of it only to come to a screeching halt, having passed by a place we should have stopped. But then isn't that life?

A life runs amongst fields, mine, on mine fields
each explode in your memory,
like a victim of land mines, I am crippled,
my homeward journey,
paved through there,
I’m aware of its presence,
each laid by your hand, I assisted
it is madness to love, to love like madness,
to walk on towards you, my homing beacon
that shall lead me to living,
I detest those who stand in my way,
between the mine field and me,
between me and you,
I need you, as I need to breathe,
to possess you, to protect you,
to whisper into your eyes, without words,
to make you understand, how much you need love,
each moment that separates us, you grow in me,
shattering my will that accommodates your absence,
making me yearn for you, to hold you in my arms,
to hold your hands, to reassure,
to tell you everything will be alright.

Anger! now that's bad. 

Longings

The sunset is just a phase,
for it brings me a reason to write,
about how much I love you,
about how much absence hurts,
about how I long for you.
I just reach out to the moon,
as if to touch it with my outstretched hands,
just like I wish of being loved,
atleaset unlike the moon you could try.
Maybe you do, maybe you don’t
questioning your thoughts is sacrilege,
for I place you next to my god,
for I love you both unparalled.

Hey I am getting this tattoo on my hand in two months. Working out from tomorrow at the gym man, do i want this or what 

The Luke Skywaker Syndrome. 

Oh an guess what has not changed for the past 17 years? I still brush after I get ready, sometimes I forget it totally and come back home to brush. 

Conscience

When every thing goes wrong and you are angry on someone just ask your conscience if it hurts, if it does remember it’s bad. Oh tiger you are a woman of conscience arent you? just ask either your heart or your conscience it will tell you that I don’t deserve the anger you hold for me. If it hurts then remember someway it will hurt me. Take care, missing you like crazy, friend, dream, imagination, love.

What am I

Would the world at my feet be happiness
if you wouldn’t be heard by me?
and when the stars come out at night,
can I see them through my tearful eyes?
I look at all around,
my vision, a blur, my eyes see you,
all around me, I breathe you,
holding on to your thoughts
like a dying man holding his last breath of air,
wishing to exist one more instance,
a second, a moment,
maybe a fragment, I beg before ‘Time’
to change, to bring back that feeling of belonging
you had for me, now dying.

Tinkle.

Erase my desires,
touch my life, to end it,
for you are, a distant dream,
one that haunts,
one that instills fear,
I succumb to your longing,
in absolute reality,
in persistence,
of my absolute existence,
and to enchant me, your presence.
You exist in my present,in my blood,
burn it with your absence,
freeing me of my sorrows at presence,
just to send me to rest,in sorrows,
some that arise in our distance,
some which with you hurt yourself,
only to bring me tears,
your sorrows are a moment for you,
they are a lifetime to me,
stay beside, don't let go,
I need you to exist till I cease.

Life's Journey.

watching time roll back the Left way 

watching time roll by the right way 

my ashtray. amit's gift. 

Untitled

Wipe those tears,
stare at the sun,
lighting the world of the star fish,
this evening, as it sets.
Flaring in red,
just as sad as me
for it knows you'll part,
it'll be await your arrival,
another day, like me again.
I envy the sun,
for he can watch you everyday,
warm you in his glow,
unlike me, a worthless existence,
You asked me what I am,
it hurt, I consoled myself,
for you are right,
before the mighty sun,
I may not be even a grain of sand.

Emily Dickinson (1830–86).

Very rarely it happens that we admire at the writings of some people and relate ourselves to it, often we are inspired by it..

My personal favouriates include :
Robert Frost.
Alecksander Blok.
"and a woman, yes a woman"
Emily Dickinson, she is one such poetess.

=============================
Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.
Part Three: LoveXXXIX
=============================
When roses cease to bloom, dear
=============================
WHEN roses cease to bloom, dear,
And violets are done,
When bumble-bees in solemn flight
Have passed beyond the sun,

The hand that paused to gather
Upon this summer’s day
Will idle lie, in Auburn,—
Then take my flower, pray!
=============================

=============================
Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.
Part Three: LoveXXXIX
==========================
“I envy seas whereon he rides”
============================

I ENVY seas whereon he rides,
I envy spokes of wheels
Of chariots that him convey,
I envy speechless hills
That gaze upon his journey; 5

How easy all can see
What is forbidden utterly
As heaven, unto me!
I envy nests of sparrows
That dot his distant eaves, 10

The wealthy fly upon his pane,
The happy, happy leaves
That just abroad his window
Have summer’s leave to be,
The earrings of Pizarro 15

Could not obtain for me.
I envy light that wakes him,
And bells that boldly ring
To tell him it is noon abroad,—
Myself his noon could bring, 20

Yet interdict my blossom
And abrogate my bee,
Lest noon in everlasting night
Drop Gabriel and me.
=============================


Both of them dedicated to you tiger, just what I wish to say is said by her in her poem "I envy"
The title has a link to her greatest works.

What was wrong?

I read a very old message stored on my phone “I’m sorry, ur my best friend n u hold a special place in my life, hw can i forget u n u need nt doubt on dis,********” well i just deleted that message, it’s etched in my soul so i need not have it on my phone do I? So what if that was a lie it made me remember I meant something to someone in life that the person said this to me. Maybe it was not a lie, I don’t know, What ever it was I just can say nothing has ever changed, nor will it ever from my side. You still are just the same for me, every second I've interacted with you. I'll just keep everything I feel in my mind, it will hurt me for I like hearing someone cares. Am a little bit of a sentimental vampire.

This is something that is a part of my life, something I keep next to god every night before I go to sleep. Well it has its own history. 

Captivity

Trapped in my own thoughts,
I find myself drifting,
towards a place I don’t know,
somewhere far, farther than the stars.
In your love, wandering,
I tread along, alone,
to sit on its high slopes,
to remember you, cry for you
just to remind me how much I love you,
When it rains,
the grass that turns green
makes the valley beautiful,
as if they seem to smile like you,
the sky looks down on me,
like your eyes, mystic, and mischievous,
I’m a prisoner in my love for you.

Just staring.

Wait, look back,
let me wipe those tears;
don't love me,
I'll love you enough for both,
stay in my frame,
I wish to not blink when I see you,
to hold my breath when you leave
I'll stare into the sunset,
like me it'll await you every morning,
just to know you, hear you,
to see you smile,
along with the breeze,
which awaits to touch you,
comfort you with its gentleness,
blow through your hair,
like me waiting,
to comb it with my hand,
smell its fragrance,
I don't need the world,
just your presence is contentment,
answer my calling,
just a nod should be fine.

I'll Say

Teach me patience, teach me love, teach me how important my life is, just don't leave after you teach me all that.

==============================
Overdose
==============================
Like inhaling white dust,
through my nose,
maybe like some green wrapped in paper
lighting it,
spinning my head,
deep in my brain,
sparks fly,
That's what you are,
A potent drug.
The seconds are like a syringe,
pushing your memories through,
into my veins,
clouding my mind,
erasing my sorrows,
just to hurt me,
when your absence arrives.
==============================

SMS' I wanted to send

• "if i have known to love then it is from loving you"
  
• "after you taught me how important love is don't leave me"
  
• “Would you just do what you just because you know I love for everything under the sun”
  
• “I’ll be right here waiting to tell you I still love you , even after you stab me right through the heart”
  
• "If I had to live a life of a slave of the devil in hell for the rest of my life in return to see you smiling all your life I wish it happens twice”
  
• “Look into you heart, I know you have one, for I can never fall for a heartless woman”
  
• “ you know love, you just are afraid, you don’t want to love me, I can’t give up loving you, its a war no one wins, we both lose”
  

Breathe

Is it that I choose to love you,
without complaints,
without  showing you a single drop of tear,
that you distance me from you,
I’m an existence that is frail now
a life that lives on to hear you
why? What is my crime?
I just can love you,
not even a grain of love from you
I ask, then why do you offer me hatred
that makes me question every breath I take?
I just wish to know why?
why do I exist in such a worthless existence?
where I just can love you endlessly,
While I burn in you hatred.
Why do I exist so?

I choose to fly,
in the freedom that your eyes paint,
amongst the misty veil of your lashes,
bask in the sunlight that they reflect.
I wish to feel the wind,
Blowing through your hair, gentle,
wish to feel the essence they carry
wish to be elevated by it.
I long to hold your hand,
while I hear you speak,
to tell you all shall be well soon
to comfort you, to wipe your tears.
I wish to walk along,
a journey no matter how long,
to carry you in my arms,
whispering my love to you.
If I’m heard by you or god,
I know it shall be the same to me,
both illusive and distant to me,
but giving me strength to live on.

Empathy

Fly ash, blows in the air
a farmer prays,
wishing the winds blow it away
for they shall kill his sunflowers
blooming in the morning glow.
He can only watch it,
wreck havoc, killing the yellow heads
slowly poisoned,
his field is now a graveyard.
His eyes full of tears,
watching the fruit of his labour lost
he turned around,
"I know now why you cry"
"I feel the same" he said to me.

Me @ Wipro

My team with My trainer Subin. Click on the image for a full view.
The guys here except that idiot who looks ike me are the smartest selected after about 6 to 7 stringent interviews. This is one batch wipro put its heart on the line to select, everyone here is either hardcore techie, some from ahemedabad, hyderabad,etc. relocated to work as the best team, am proud to be a part of this team, and we have a great trainer or what, comming from me (ritesh Nair) yes he is terrific.

A prayer

Aren’t you the only woman I’ve ever loved,
well you are, and just the only one I can ever,
you don’t want me, can’t do much, but be sad,
I can just wait endlessly.
Take care,
may god give you the best in life
anything good in life that comes
I'll wish to give it away to you.
I miss you, now and for all times.
You think you know what love is
I just will say ask yourself if you do,
just ask if what you have known hurt,
as much as my heart has been hurt
in loving you, who chooses to be a stranger.
All I did was love you
I just keep doing so,
What they said
even when treated like a dog
I just gave you my heart,
burn it, turn a knife in it,
crush it under your feet,
after all that; ask yourself
you will still hear me saying
that I love you, and only you.


It's a prayer from someone who is an idiot in love with the most wonderful woman I've ever met till now and I know I shall never meet one like her ever. I miss you tiger, very very much, even more than you can ever understand,what I did I did in love and you would do the same if you were me and I was you, think, I still want you just the same infact even more. You told me to tell you when you were wrong and this time you are, for if your conscience is alive it will prick you and if it bothers you I'll feel the pain, I don't know why but you know it does.

At One

A droplet trickles,
down my roof,
A sun used to shine through there in summer
the place where I keep your picture
glowing in tonight’s lamplight
beneath the rumble of the rain on the roof.
I stare at you in the dim light
drinking coffee, in company of solitude,
awaiting for sleep to arrive
with weary eyes.
I shall sleep, atleast try
but you shall haunt my dreams
churn my inside, make me shiver
feel afraid, hurt me with absence
for I'll be without you standing beside
that's the hard truth when I'm awake.

Helooooooooooooo

And they said the drunk shall liberate their mind from sanity, they hold on to their bottles that yeild the whisky and vodka, hold it to their mouth to connect with the elixr of life. Cleansing the mind of stale thoughts running @ 9000 thoughts per second.

Touch My Soul

Would you ever turn around
See me crying in your absence
Under the shadow of my love for you
Would you ever look at all you did?
Judge what was wright, what was wrong
Is easy, for you are loved by many
Is it a mistake, to love you so much
Or is it your's that you dont care?
Was I always wrong? I wish I was ,
Your concience knows, your heart knows
Ask your self .
I just know to love you, like no mortal can
I feel you grow under my skin
Growing without a stop,
One day when I shall carefully look
In my mirror, I shall see you as me
No more shades of you , as I do now,
Then I shall be you, completely you.

Barefeet

Have you ever felt the road beneath?
Walked bare-feet, trying to feel alive ?
Wishing to hear the soul calling out
To stop the pain you subject yourself to.
How does it feel when the glass enters your skin!
Beneath the foot,
The sole red from bleeding
I just let it stay there for a while
To feel it enter deeper in my flesh.
An act of madness, I don’t deny
So is loving, but I can't stop
I just wish to feel alive
Wish to stop existing.
Someday when you call, maybe,
Or when compelled by a promise
I’ll put on my shoes then, Maybe
I’ll have a life to live, I don’t ask much.
I am bleeding
Soul to sole in solitude,
In the soul more profuse,
The blood on the sole clots
My sadness is taking its toll,
I just walk, standing tall
Knowing I still can love,
Even self torture cannot stop ,
The bleeding that your absence brings to me.

my jeans after 15 Kms barefoot 

Dragging along Part I

The story of it at http://nair-ritz.blogspot.com

Hey my kid got to my blog

Hi, himani, so you finally found my blog, well and thank you for that wonderful poetry. Just find who the poet is for me na. Catch you around.

Somethings

I just wish to not wake up tomorrow,I have a party from 3 in the evening till 11:30 PM being thrown by Microsoft itself for us Exchange Tech support personnel.
Well the rest of my today is on my older blog page at:
http://nair-ritz.blogspot.com/

The party is going to be so damn lonely

try it and You'll be dead 

what???? 

Existence

Maybe my peace is your voice,maybe they are your eyes,Maybe your presence,Maybe I cannot ever breathe easy,Ever again since I know you are everything. What would it be if I wish for death now, How would my life be if it ended in the second I just know that I dont want anything except knowing all is well with my world, and you know you are the world to me.

Whistle me a tune, gentle songbird,
make me see the pink in the skies,
just to make me believe, all is well
to remind me that the world exists.
Gently gurgle, fill up my ears, flowing river,
wake me,
from the turbulence of silence I exist in,
in pieces, Some lost some found,
some beyond recognition
put them back together.
Walk with me, soothing breeze,
sometimes when my heart is lone,
soothe me and leave me craving for more
just like her, just as she does,
making me want to love her more,
over, all over and again.
Beyond my understanding
maybe, I don't wish to know.
I just know I exist in some hearts,
keeping them strong, making them smile
useless indeed is my existence to me ,
when my soul quivers
longing to see you smile,
to look into your eyes, to live again.

Robert Frost

The Telephone

"When I was just as far as I could walk
From here today,
There was an hour
All still
When leaning with my head against a flower
I heard you talk.
Don't say I didn't, for I heard you say--
You spoke from that flower on the windowsill--
Do you remember what it was you said?"
"First tell me what it was you thought you heard."

"Having found the flower and driven a bee away,
I leaned my head,
And holding by the stalk,
I listened and I thought I caught the word--
What was it? Did you call me by my name?
Or did you say--
Someone said 'Come'--I heard it as I bowed."

"I may have thought as much, but not aloud."

"Well, so I came."

[(from Mountain Interval, 1916) The Poetry of Robert Frost]

Casting an orange glow, erasing the black
Another day comes, awating me to wake up
I do, with a curse, of being away from you
Wishing to be dead,
Wishing I take my last breath
No one arouund knows how much to love someone
I am just unable to control my plunge into it
I am afraid of you,
Maybe your absence shows in my life
Alone,
Amongst a world for whom I am a world
Mine empty, without you
Just need to know that I am in love
In love with a wonder of the world
Maybe I think so
But then isn’t love so
Isn’t loving you that important

Giving up

Only words,
Maybe they are enough
The way they sound,
When you speak
Knowing you are somewhere knowing me
In a perfect frame,
Well and smiling,
Taming my deathwish
Pulling me back to living, to love life
I just wish to give it away now
For I hear you as silence now
Why should I exist,
Try to live in such emptiness
I give up,
I give up living
I still can't give up loving you.

here I am

Like atlas

I feel you ache, my heart,
Deep within myself
Awaiting retribution, to be loved
Like Atlas, holding my world on my back
For some eventful day,
Awaiting joys,
Stoned eyes await your arrival
Every breath makes me long for you
Every moment I live, the only way
With you rendered in thoughts
I seem to wither away, I feel me dying,
I await my fall to the ground,
Like some dying leaf at autumn
So is my life without you in it,
Withering in pain,
Come soon either of you.

Talking to god

Someone asked what love was,
I don’t know who he was,
I saw him first time
He came to me, sat beside
Wiped my tear, asked who you were
I looked at him, I smiled and said,
She's my life, why do you ask?
He spoke a while,
Told me his disbelief
I asked him why he wiped my tear
He said that he cannot stand
Someone crying, wishing to belong
I just stared at him,
He face showed he knew all
How come, I never told him!
Is that a handicap, I asked
To feel love and love endlessly without a reason
To live in thoughts of a woman I love
He smiled at me this time,
Said “You know to love, but you love too much”
“Love me a little and yourself a bit sometimes”
I just looked into his eyes,
I saw him concerned
I knew that very second, He was God.

A view through my window

Still, gentle, Silent, Calm
Like silk, woven on the finest wheels
Softer than the evening sunset
Soothing as the first tune of the songbird
Heard long after the longest isolation
Some far away radio playing
On lone roads for company
A poor soul driving alone
Your thoughts are so much like these,
Sheltering my mind from despair
The despair your absence brings
Living in your memories,
Trying to evade that sinking feeling
Of the meaninglessness my life is
Without you beside.

Questioning Authority

Can I live in a moment, where I catch you smile
Warming my heart with the glow of the winter sun
Changing my life, Making me long
To rest forever, To freeze up in that frame
Can I god?
Why should I forsake, Love for there is pain within it
and why should I not feel a knife turn in my heart
When the thought of her makes me smile
When her presence lights up my world
Why should I not?
Is it for you gifted me isolation
Is it that you enforced it as a curse on me?
I’ll fight you, I know I’m weak,
My love keeps me strong
I shall live, maybe only if today
But I shall live remembering to love her for eternity.

Calling out

———————————————————————
Wherefore you walk my heart, come back
Love is not for you, you are frail,so much like glass
They see through you, call you clean,
She breaks you apart time and again
For me come back, Bring along my mind too
I am left behind alone
I need you to live, my heart, come back
You are dragged along without will,
By my mind, roaming,
Along her roads,besides her home
You await to be a carpet to her
I question your existence as her door mat.
Be back before this time changes
My love has no time to love me back
I have to keep you in pain, I apologize
You still have me, I have you
I’ll wipe the bleeding, the bleeding her absence brings.
———————————————————————

Talking to myself

It is but to die in pain, is it not? 
we choose, fellow human, is it not?
To mourn in absence, to feel the pain shatter
Right through the spine, the mind, the body, all
Such silliness, such foolishness, the mind does
It’s a one way ride, not a joyful one?
Who says, joy is loving one,
Being loved back is not a reason to do so, is it?
Hold the mind, hold the heart from being shattered
Forsake the fragrance and keep the flowers you mean? 
No my mind, I shall love, For I can
My strength is weaning, my soul in pain
But its her that makes them complete now
How shall I? How shall I walk away?
Why? I know I shall cry, I do that even now,
When she shall hurt me again, I’ll cry
Sit with you again, Hear you tell me to let go,
Stay beside, atleast you do stay my dear mind.

Visiting my grave

=======================================
My tombstone may have a story to tell
When I'm dead, long gone
I ask it be written so
'here is one who died unloved,
By one who was his world,
The very one who made him know
What love was in itself, thank her'

They shall read it, on passing,
I'll ask a daisy be planted beside,
A pink one, one the pot be written so
'Here is her, gentle and beautiful,
His world, a world that breathed
Soothed his heart, whose absence hurt'

Some time shall pass, maybe you may visit
Laugh on a '23' inscribed on my tombstone,
Beneath it I shall read my pledge
' If I have to live in hell to see you smile
I shall live 23 of it, 23 times
Just to come back to love you forever'

I know I ask to touch the moon
Fly amongst the blue, No mortal can
When you wish to end our talk
just listen to the wind It'll carry my cry.

=======================================


Alexander Blok's Poems
http://www.poetryloverspage.com/yevgeny/blok/