Burning to ash

The desolate childish eyes seek an answer,
where it lost it’s childhood,
when I would roam the country side,
amidst the paddy, and the river running by,
I watched you, saw it in your eyes,
I tried to hide, not in fear,
Was shy, afraid of joy,
you walked by, i touched the air,
found the essence, the lost one of mine,
I stood there, smoked, shared two,
I spoke, not my heart, It longed to hear,
I had walked, in rage, against my helplessness,
to reach out to breathe the air you breathe in,
the cubicle, the one where you reside,
the alley where you walk,
I wish I could love and be,
but I know you cannot, for I’m a cinder,
burning to ash,
sooner, and you will know me no more,
but you burnt the fire back in me,
and I could write, write love,
the page is my heart, the words my voice,
you resurrected me, I’m now alive,
watching your smiles, make believe ones
plastic,
makes me happy though, for you try,
I know I’ll survive, silent and in the shadows,
of my burning desire for love, that I have,
and in the flame of your absence in my life.

Destined to solitude

I searched the depths of living,
found you,
lost in the shades of it,
stretched my hand,
you shied,maybe afraid,
I stood there in the rain,
washing my tears,
clouding my tears in the water that poured,
as if it never would stop,
when you turned your hand away,
i smiled,
held my ground,
waiting on the roads,
awaiting your return,
thought you set me adrift,
my hope held me,
tied me to your existence,
only to wait,
only to treasure the one sight of you,
when I met you, and parted,
never to be heard or seen again,
I cursed my destiny,
but it gave me your memory to live by.
I do..........

Again........

On a one way ticket I strode,
Down the road, away from love,
I heard a voice call,
Love, again, At least one more time,

It haunted,
Touched my wounds, healing in solitude,
To slit open my heart,
That timed stitched, ruthless,

So woman, so unlike a woman,
As if lost in a turmoil
Between yourself and you,
As if you wished, as though you couldn’t,
To rattle the pages of my past,
To make me read them over and again,

As if to make me shiver,
In fright, to paralyze the will,
To try to breathe,
Hope for one last breath.

Making me feel the edge of the blade,
Entering superficially, sliding,
Making me burn, with the intensity
Of a thousand lamps of love,
Only to blow it out,
With a single breath of yours
Darkness…………….
Surrounds me again…..

A Hopeful cynic

The grip of solitude,
Justified, malignant, overwhelming,
Cast on me, so spiteful, but homely,
Just to awe me,
Love rose on the horizon,
I knew it shall set, it did,
A cynic, they call me,
I choose not to argue,
For they shall know,
Soon, they shall see,
Wet their grounds with tears,
Of pain, of longing, belongings,
Shall be shattered,
On the rock of life,
Like some lone traveler,
Lost in a journey,
Seeking peace,
Thirsting for smiles,
I shall look back, wonder,
Why I cried,
When I’m laying on my back,
Witnessing the cover of my grave,
Only to be known, by my name,
With the fire of my angst,
Of the past,
On my tombstone please write,
‘I fought to win, I sought,
And I’m here, asleep,
Touch my tombstone,
Resurrect my soul,
Free me’.

Me @ Max

And to think  now my own face………Hah……

 

Professor Saab ab aap microsoft ke engineer ho, faculty dreams are dead long gone,,,,,,,,,

ME

I watched the world pass by,
I let go of all that hurt me deep,
with a bottle of my vodka so clear,
I sat like a monkey on the tree of life,
watched all those who were mine,
or so called themselves,
walk below,
those who never turned to look,
and when they did they howled ‘change’,
i blinked, tried, but a monkey couldn’t change,
I had hope that life shall be mine,
I was afraid to see it fade,
I painted the glory for me,
a pseudo happiness called my world,
where all was bright, and they looked up to me,
washed away by the waves of time,
relentless is the will of the demon inside,
I agreed, I fought,
the inevitable won, maybe I let it,
I stood alone,
like the last man standing,
a monkey could never change I guess,
never, I said, to my self.

Just a Message to my chinese friend (anonymous)

Hi, I have grown out of it, just that life is so beautiful you like the trip, this is on a different character all together, tiger is out long ago.

into the light

Lead me into the light,
the darkness has me captive,
into your realm where love floats,
on swift and steady wings,
break this prison, set me free,
I've long been trapped,
evaded life and living,
felt love pass me by,
I know you not,
nor do you,
total strangers, who passed by,
as you found me,
I hope love finds me,
maybe,
maybe it may not,
but I shall hold on,
to that moment,
when you set me free,
and made me see 
the sunset is just a beginning,
and that the sun shall rise again,
and warm my heart,
I reach out to you,
stretch out my hand,
take me…….
away forever…
far away from pain of longing,
love me………

Dreams of another day

I dreamt of flight,
nurtured the thought,
Fed it the hope,
Drenched it in the blood of my feelings,
It held me strong each time I looked,
For it reminded me of the construct,
Of the ways of the world,
Where all is destroyed to be built again,
But it had like my heart given up,
Forgotten love, forgotten feelings,
Unlike my heart, it was weak, fragile,
And it lay in the hands of a ruthless,
The very one who help me rendition it,
I went to my knees, watched it shattered,
Counted each piece,
The shards cut my fingers,
And became red,
I put them together,
For I knew love would heal,
This time it hurt
More in mending than hurt,
I let it stay,
the shattered remains of my dreams,
My Dreams of another day,

On Blood stained Wings

Waking up from a frenzy,
from a time where I dreamt, peaceful,
gentleness
and flew on wings, so white like pearls,
possessed in the purpose of your existence,
when you passed by,
i would bask in the radiance,
of an existence, a source of imagination,
when you would inspire,
a mind that has flown through storms,
of pain and has bled profuse,
from miseries of misunderstanding,
just to smile, knowing your existence,
solving my purpose,
of poetry, like an artist’s scenery,
untouched and undisturbed by him,
but you raged, barged, broke the heart 
which time mended, gave wings to breathe again,
and shattered it, stabbed it with thoughts,
some which I never could never dare to conjure,
and ended me in flames of shame,
and now I am flying, injured, hurt, in pain,
smiling, trying to ignore,
I take my flight now, holding on to whatever is left,
of inspiration, of the spell you cast and you mutilated,
spraying my own blood, all over,
I’m flying,
with a set of tearful eyes,
and blood stained wings……..

about me

Some things about the Scorpion’s sting in me

1) http://www.scorpiosite69.freeserve.co.uk/Scorpio2.html#art2

2) http://www.scorpiosite69.freeserve.co.uk/Scorpio2.html#art4

3) http://www.scorpiosite69.freeserve.co.uk/Scorpio2.html#art5

 

Engulfed

I was at Malshej yesterday, it is a beautiful place, almost like heaven on earth. I went there unplanned, just imagine his I call up this guy at 9:00 and tell him 15 minutes and we are to leave for a nice outing at Malshej, it takes no planning, no thought or even packing for us both to go anywhere, the wanderers you can call us. Eagles flying on wings of freedom. I found someone there all around me, so I wrote something in my mind and I am putting it up here. Hope you all like this. Me going there again next saturday.

Engulfed
===============================

You would hide,the green peaks
often to reveal them when the sun would intervene,
I would look at the sun,
ask it to be gentle on you,
for you made it look so serene,
the green so pristine,
as if to bathe the soul of a troubled mind,
to make me want to believe, in love,

The waterfalls, spraying, misty,
the wind blows it my way,
though cold, I feel each droplet,
as your instance, so much like you,
for they are silent too,
but talk to me in profound silence,
when they drench me and flow,
making a statement in silence, so 'you',

I walked down hill,
with you surrounding me,
and settled down,to eat an ear of corn,
sitting on the fence,overlooking the valley,
just above the waterfall,
I could feel the nicotine,
rising in my blood,
the smoke mixing with you,
but you still distinctly seperate,
untarnished, your presence,

when I ended my walk,
I turned around,
looked at the mountains,
shining where the streaks hit the peaks,
and stood there, smiled and called out to you,
to come along, home,
you came one last time,engulfed me,
went back to the mountains,
I bid goodbye, with a tear ...
===============================

I found Some things about myself

http://firebrd.blogspot.com/

Breaking the silence

We passed by,
as total strangers,
I caught you too looking my way
unfocused though,lost in ourselves,

as if the silence had more to say,
and the words wouldn’t suffice,
and that we could wait to talk,
untill the next tide,
that may arise,
in my mind, may in yours,
this june walked past,
just as we ,

All with some reasons,
of some fears capsuled in our minds,
a mutual morbid fear maybe,
mine is losing,
losing you after finding,
your’s I do not know.
maybe is finding after losing,
maybe on similar lines,

I sat with the wind today,
after speaking to you with words,
silently, without speech,
both on either side of the terminal,
and the wind broke its silence,
the same wind that dwells within,
as a storm in my mind,

I knew what you were becomming,
I could feel you grow,
over and over,
and a bit more,
into this heart,
destined to be lone,

nature’s folly,
to hurt me again,
to entrap my mind,
for I ridiculed love once,