Arsenic

What can I say to a heart,
that your absence corrodes,
to question the core of my existence,
to make me gasp for breath,
knowing I have to live in your choice,
to exist so, without questioning 'why',
as if to sustain myself in this profound pain,
that I cast on myself, maybe fate,
the same pulled us apart,
though my fate is your slave,
I hide in its shadow,
in shame of being vulnerable to you,
to look twice at my reflection,
to realize it's mine,
to curb the desire to stop breathing,
I call out your name,
a name that gives me wings,
to ascend into the brilliant blue,
amongst the morning sun lit clouds,
where I write your name,
with a feather of my dream, my pen,
the cloud my canvas,
I falter from reality to love you,
I accept your gift of hatred,
for it comes from your heart,
a place beyond reach or rights,
where even my God asks to enter,
where I stand behind him far away,
a mere mortal entombed by my own love for you.