Are you not afraid of me child?
Does not all this blood scare you?
That this is your father on my lap dying in pain
And that I am the one who is as you see devouring him!
Asked the divinity,
A face of a lion under the roof of snake heads
Afraid? How can I be when I have not known its meaning?
Not known fear in any form since I have seen you
Always, till now when I looked into my heart
Now I am seeing you with open eyes
What is pain now, what is death, what is life?
I am in surrender
Says the child, transfixed at the face of the presence
What is the ‘I’ in me now lord?
The self is no longer what was
‘I’ and ‘me’ are no longer words with meaning
I feel like a drop of water in the ocean of you
But the ocean scares me, it seems so unstill, ravaging, storming.
How shall I let go and merge into it?
How will I find the ‘me’ when I mix in you?
I asked.
Fear not child, when you fall into me, you are me
And once me you shall not need to find the ‘you’
And then you shall know that you have finished your search
And that your fears are what led you to me
The ocean is calm and gentle; close your eyes that you see with
Open the eyes of feeling; open the eyes in the soul
And you shall see, but only if you surrender to me
I hear the wind speak
I close my eyes; I see the ocean now calm
I hear its waves gentle to the touch, like a feet stepping on lotus
I ask if I can open my eyes now, I hear a ‘yes’
I find myself in the lotus he holds in one hand
Sleeping like an infant, and him watching me, like a mother
He is my mother.
