utterings of a prisoner

Talk to me, be there in those images I see
Touch my heart, make this time melt away
Look at me and say that you missed me
Whisper , gently as you do, let the winds carry your voice
They know their way,
If i was deaf i could feel them, if i was blind i could see them
You could wake up my long dead soul
You could bring down the walls of my fear of love, of smiling
I know not who you are, if you are God sent.
I know not why, and why for one forsaken so long ago
Let me follow you, eyes closed, bound to your essence
Feel your perfume guiding me, tugging me away
Far from the sorrows that keep me a prisoner
of my own self, of my own doings
free me, unlock this mind
Let this soul soar high again, let your love be the wind beneath its wings
and when I descend, and if it was my final flight
tell me you'll love me, you shall bring my soul back again.

empty

Where I once had love, now all it shelters is fear
Agonized by the ever present , omnipotent absence
The mind now a cavern, hollow, yet standing
Your thoughts flow constant, in gentle streams

There are times when the darkness haunts me
The darkness within, so empty so lone
It misses your touch, gentle; was a known term
Now the walls of this cavern are dry

Sometimes a raging river would run when you were aside
Would gently foam lashing against the seascape so serene
A seascape built of you and me, destroyed by the time’s symphony
Decays the soul that lives there, in that cavern

Summers, and winters have gone by, so have the rains
All drenched me, except my soul
For the faux pas of fear, of a heart, an engraved memory
Kept the cave out of reach, untended

When the day beckons, I am one with the devices that tie me
When its eve I sit and gaze at the skies
I sometimes try to smile, but laugh in my sadness
Each time the cavern mocks at me.

Purge

Ravage my soul
let me lose control
find you in my mind, erase it
Purge my thoughts
Feed this blind brain thought
Equalize what once was High
get my head out of the clouds
rip my heart to shreds
And when all is done
sew me together and leave me, again
Maybe then I shall write again.

Deep within my self
I have concealed your thoughts
Wicked and sacrilege, of lust and desertion
You can see the fight in my eyes
if you look into them, your innocence breeds my craving
of you, a mere possession , mere flesh
I shall not be the one, who shall soothe your hurt
Nor shall I be the one you have waited for
I am only a speck, blowing in the wind
tomorrow I may be gone

Knowing this would you just breathe easy
and extend your hand, surrender your self to me
be in pain, exist so forever there on
for a moment of oneness with you?
I would have if I was you and you were me.
I wont ask for an answer for you are not me.
I depart now.

A White blanket

 

A deep breath and it hurts my lungs
bleeds my lips, bites into my fingers
It looks beautiful, yet I hate it
the cold , the snow, the chilly wind

Reminiscent

From the shadow
Of a mind hiding a dark past
Surfaces a face, gentle, haunting, beautiful
Stirs up my mind, strumming my heart
Butterflies fluttering in the belly
Apart from this childish imagery of a teen falling for a girl
A thirst for her flesh
A lust for her love
Like a cannon ball
Shattering a wall of gentle rose petals
The lust too much to evade
The longing for her touch like a million needles
Piercing my skin, bleeding lust
The air thick, with the evil of this thought
Like a vice , tightening around my lungs
Killing me morally
Her existence, an embodiment of lust
I can only follow,shattered,lacking will.

I wish i lived back then.

 

Back then life had a meaning
a meaning as deep as the universe itself
Back in the times of Che,
To have ridden with him , to have spoken , heard him
his ideas , his thoughts
so much alike,
A ‘one man army’ of indefinite proportions
and the youth of today wear his face
in tattoos, on clothes
grin as if they know,
The revolution is dead Che
no more do they think of equality
its a lost art
I wish i had lived in your times
i wish I had died with you.

Reruns

 

Clear, the skies, beautiful evenings
As far as the eyes can see.
Blue, a tinge of red blending the setting sun
Gentle clouds hum a soothing song
Soothing, my heart has not known such a thing
Its been broken,
Shattered,
Scattered across
All over the gentle countryside.
What happened? you may ask
no offence shall be taken.

It exploded, filled too much
Too much of loneliness, it kept on filling

I stare into the setting
its going to be cold soon
loneliness shall gather no more though
The one heart that could gather it has gone
Short-lived as that thought is, i feel loneliness again
this time gnawing
gnawing at my soul
projecting your memories
in the evening mist
I can only smile at it, in despair
feel its omnipresence,
all i can do is wait,
only that, which shall cure me,
your voice or my death
such a flux of silliness
that you shall once be equated with death
I await.

Love making and a book reading

Feeling the warmth of her body on my skin
On my back, her breath on my heart, she and me
Lost in a world of make believe,
And the time just ticks softly by
those pages brush past by
Rustle,
She whispers,
are we making love
I look at her and smile. This is what love is
You and me in the sheets
Exchanging heat, in a world created
And the creator is long gone
Just to stare at each other and smile
This is what making love is

Grim

"Take me home, with you"
she was in tears, shattered,
"I don't want to be alone anymore"
I reached out, "there is room for everyone child, come"

A dark veil, covers my face,"Why are you so sad dear one"
" am without love, my heart feels cold. No one needs me" spoke she.
"Would you ask a stranger like me to take you away? so unafraid" I ask
"Afraid of what, if I shall be killed, You seem generous so I asked" says she.

"Child do you know who I am, my staff announces my coming,
The humanity fears my very sight, and you reach out to me"
" Would you know me? and if you do now would you still hold on to my hand?" I ask
"There is nothing besides my loneliness, that shall sing my saga." I wont she said.

My sythe, reaped her soul, I walk on
To another victim, another land, but I trun back at her stiff body once
For your will full submission I am afraid, there is nothing I could provide, I think and sigh
There is so much ground to cover. Being death is a busy job.

Cold

Winter is here, I can tell
The lost stories forgotten echo
They speak of us,
the stream flowing down the road reminds me, of you.
Of all that I wish to forget, maybe this heart shall not know
For it forgets ignorance is bliss
On some hung tune of the winter wind
come to my window, look through,
watch me lay awake in my bed
wide awake, in thoughts of you,
Sleepless, like a forgotten fire, in embers, about to die
and death only makes me wait longer
maybe you shall never come visit
if you do, do draw those funny faces on the frosty panes
bless the ground with your shadow,
gently tread on my porch and whisper through the keyhole
let me writhe in your pain, make me think its a dream
so that i can fool myself of sleep
Swirl the air , let your locks enchant it
and then when you have cast your spell yet again
vanish as the melting snow, on some warm winter morning
only to grip me in its cold again.

Distance

You said something, I didn't hear

You complain that the love seems gone

I shall not react, ask why or feel

I am gone somewhere, far into a land unknown

I have wished and wish and shall forever more

To touch the stardust, of the crab , the horse-head, the ring

Past each star that shines, I need to know its glow

Swirl in the galaxies , in wisps that shall someday be planets, and suns and on

I seem to have wandered off

The child in me, the explorer, once lost

In a bout with sentiments and bonds

I am adrift , in some unseen trails , of comets that often pass

Take me into your arms, make love to me

feed me , console me, teach me, all that I need to know about you

I wish to be one with you, and wish to explode

into a supernova, and merge into you.

What if

If the broken could not mend
shall I bid time
even when i know now that time lies
shall i ask for an alibi
should i just then choose to wait
endlessly, and then watch myself fade
or shall i just go now
and be forever dead
these are my choices
I shall choose neither
let me bury the pain and walk
let the heart bleed, leave a trail
maybe someone may find me
if not , I am already gone.

When i look back at the path trodden bare feet,
i try to recollect what reminds me
will it be the smile, or the flower bloom
shall it be the redwood tree
will it be her kiss, or the hunger for one
or will it be to taste her skin dipping in strawberry crush
will she look at me and call my name as i melt in
and bond with her for a moment in time
and then come back to her, in lust in craving

and visit her moans in ecstacy, drown in them
make her feel complete,
and then feel complete myself

Still

When you sleep , what would you dream of

Shall you dream of the beautiful fire place

Before which we lay together

And forgot the world lost, in each others eyes

Shall you dream of that river crossing that we walked

When you held on to me close

On those slippery stones

Will you dream of those blue skies

And walk under it , holding hands

listening to the joyful birds

Shall you dream of a long lost time

when we sat on the moonlit beach

Where the waves sang a gentle song

Shall I feel you close to me , when I sleep tonight

And share your dream, and hear your heart beat

And hold you so close and never leave

I wish I do,

But your parting has kept me awake

Waiting for our next eventful meeting

Lets walk in the rain

And let me hear u sing

And look into ur eyes

Feel the water against your skin

Hold u close

Watch the wind ripple the water

Hear its hum around like a choir

See the droplets in your brow shimmer

In the dusk, whilst over looking the valley

Hear your breath , tingle my senses

When you shiver, i will hold you to me

And warm you with the fire I harbour deep in my heart

Watch the world turn orange

In the setting sun, when the rain ends

Ask me what is it that brings us close

Is it love or lust, or is it purpose

I shall reply, as I always do, its the time

And its a comfort in knowing you

If it was love, I should have been dead , long before

When you were missing,

If its lust only, We won't be in the rain

The sweat would have drenched us

Its comfort, knowing a friend, like you

Twinkle

I have waited to find, how would that earlobe feel

How would your breath feel on my skin

when you would call my name into my ears

Held close, when the flesh shall be undistinguishable

Would you tell me you have missed me

or would you regret the time

To feel your heart beating against my chest

Would you hear its craving for you

Shall it feel like a moment in time

would you miss it till we meet again

Would we break all the barriers we keep

Would you melt and flow through my finger tips

Would you wish to be with me again

When the time will be nothing and where the world is just sand

I have to leave soon

 

The sun calls me, as it sets distant,
I seek no assurance of its return, its wish is its own
I seek no arrangements, I am now awake,, free of desires
I shall never be what I don’t wish to be
Its I now, the ‘ Us’ was destroyed when you put your wish over mine|
I held you as a flame to the wick
you burnt me, I am now no longer what I was
I give up on you , no longer are you dear
I was broken before, though at the hands of others
the knife this time is held by you
I can only bid my time
then run away from you, and rest beneath those trees
and watch the paddy grow
sitting alone, at the epitome of joy without you and your wishes

Seek no more

 

I often bask in the thought
Is it that there is no self left in me
have I given it up to a mortal being who wants her way
Shall I now believe and know that my end has arrived.r
Should I give up all that I cherish for her,
And then look into the self, now an emptiness
What shall I now believe
Should I say that I gave up the freedom, and chose slavery
of the woman who wants her life to be complete
thereby causing destruction to me, to all that I stand for
Would it matter to her, if she knows her wants stand to destroy
To crush to dust the very basis of our togetherness
Should I now run away, leave her for ever
Would it matter to her? and if it did would it to me?
Some questions I ponder upon, and then I exclaim
I am the alpha and omega of my creation
I shall build what I wish and then destroy what I don’t
Someday I know the day shall come
I shall be gone, leave her to her wants and desires
I no more exist as ‘Her’ in my soul

In between

All that remains must fade
Like the mist that shall covers the night fades
Vanishes , as it never was
And then we think, is this what it was meant to be
I beg to differ in this thought
Choices were made, all else given up
And then some of us gave up the self
Now when I walk among, all I see are the bodies
Soulless, bound to what the desires bind them
No escape
I eye the race I am among, I seem to be unmoved
These are not mine, nor do I wish
Want, think for or even about
I still walk here, the earth beneath the feet
Until I sleep alone, in it.

Talking in titles

In white shall emerge, I of all known evil beings
look inside, what do you see, the hidden me 
I am present when you do good, and do i exist when you do bad
Do you think to avoid my thought? do you feel me gnawing
At your soul, at your life, eating you inside out till I am all that remains
I am in the first light of dawn that you see
In the last streak of the sun, i the still of the dusk and twilight
I am that omnipresent one, I cannot be erased
I am not a thought you can forget, nor a nightmare you can wake up from
I am what you don't want me to be, yet I am what completes you
I shall consume you, in fear or in the respect of knowing me
I have patience, forever is just a moment for me
I have been there when you were born, when you smiled
Bidding my time, I have been there when you first took your steps
The first fright that you had , the first lover you kissed
I have been in your eyes, in your breath
I am in the joy, I am in the sorrow, In love and hate
I am your end and the beginnings of other
I am death, the stillness that none can match
You cannot embrace me at your will, nor can you hide from me
You have to come along at my calling
I am the alpha and the omega of destiny
Your time is coming, await me