Abbott died today.

At the corner of the drug store
Where we all would often meet, greet and bid good byes
Have been called, again this time
One of us has passed away
The dress code is black
The day seems so much in gloom
I pass by the kids in the park they call out
I always carry candy for them, we all did
Small town; the folks knew each other’s names
First middle and last
A utopian model, unbelievable

The town folk had gathered with the priest
He says things that seem so false
And he talks of a better place, some where the angels where tread
I refute such claims, usually, yet I let it pass this once
I can see his widow, she doesn’t weep
She sits there holding his hand, she hasn’t moved
Last night when Abbott went to bed
He gently slept, unsounding, and turned stiff
She looks at the priest and asks
‘has the lord left me alone, did he forget how my life was his breath’

The priest silenced by such a word
Looked up to the heavenly cloud
And then I could see the tear roll down his cheek
For laurel post that question had passed away
Together forever in life in death
They had fulfilled their solemn oath

I looked at my wife just then
She stopped her weeping, walked up to laurel
Kissed her forehead and prayed for her soul
Whilst the rest of us stilled in that moment
On of love inseparable even in death
She came over to me and held my hand
I wept this time for the love I felt
I told her ‘I shall follow you like laurel has’
But never die first like Abbott did

For I am afraid to let go of your hand
Let the lord take us both, but not one
And I went down to my knees after long
Held her hands and prayed
He bears witness , from the clouds above
A wish I make to thee, if ye send for her then send as well for me
Let us be in each other’s arms
breathe our last; in love’s symphony.

Tinkle.

There lay many, where the pieces fell before
Often i hear them crash, whilst a piece falls over another
The heart still cracking up, slowly, a fragment each time
Of glass made, that was shattered, into a million pieces,
One heart, mine
Now gone cold, lifeless, devoid of all feelings; save for pain
And of longing, the soul dreams of
Though the days pass like drifting clouds
The sun shines on those broken shards
Reflecting you,
Warm glow, flower beds and green fields
They are nothing, if not a taunt
Of reminiscent memories, some painful, salient

Revival

I am singing you a heartfelt song
Whilst the seagulls glide gracefully above
Will you be there when the morning comes?
And hold me when the moon shines
Will you hear the crickets, sitting on the park bench under the light?
And look into my eyes, just to find me dissolving into yours
And shall you rest your head against mine
While we share the time, saying nothing, while I hold you in my arms
Let me hold the book you read, turn the page as you need
Drink in the scent of your warmth, lying beside you
When you turn off the reading light let me hold your hand
And sleep with you in my arms, share and see the same dream
Go mad with you and play in the snow
Let me make a snow ball and hand it over
To throw it at me, so your hands don’t turn cold
Let me stir your coffee, while you stir it
Let’s sit like we did once eons ago
Let me hear you breathe, and feel that I breathe too
For this heart has learnt to miss again
And it weeps like a child to hold you

Maddened

They still play that song, down by the inn
Where we had coffee, and I drank
I was drunk in the moment with you
Filled up my heart in the melody of your voice
Whilst we discussed over things that never mattered
Neither to you nor to me, just to converse
Our glasses stood next to each other, like they wanted to dance
And I never asked if you wanted to, I apologize
Too shy to say I had two left feet
They guys still go crazy when they watch TV
When Knopfler sings ‘postcards from Paraguay’…
They sometimes raise a toast to that empty chair
Of the table I sit at, to let me feel that they see you too
I know they lie, for they don’t have my eyes
But lie in good spirit, would you come on by?
They ask sometimes when they meet me speaking to you
On the road, where we once took a stroll
Buddies;
They always cheer me up
And keep that bleed in check, some I see with tearful eyes
I know you are gone, but why do I still see you
Feel your presence,
In each flake of snow I see, each ray of sunlight that falls
Like an omnipotence, endless like the universe itself
And why do I walk on, talking to you, hearing you speak to me
In the rustling leaves, the gentle whistle of the wind
I may have been maddened, but I like it there
I keeps you with me

The life of The Nair

A million years, since we met
Since you snuggled up to me and gently wept
In happiness
When you were sad, afraid, I promised I won’t let go
The winter’s waning, the fog gentle as your touch
Has cast itself on me, still warm in thoughts
The morning glow, I remember distinct, your hair shimmered in
The pavement we walked along, together,
I see us walking each time I look
Each day has passed as thousand days..
And you still far away, if you look over the ledge do you see me?
Standing there, with flowers, awaiting you to run to me
Much time has passed indeed, and this heart now frail
The soul now on a broken leash
Was that you who just rang the chimes?
Was that you who called out my name?
Was that you who just passed by?
Truly a million years must’ve passed.
And this soul still survives
Maybe its journey is at end
Maybe it waits to catch a glimpse of you again
Playing amongst the daisies in my back yard
Gently blowing the dew drops away on mornings like these
You warmed a soul; it needs your warmth again
But I will wait another million years
Bask in your memories, and then silently fade
Like those wildflowers of my garden…

Meander.

 

The beautiful sky above, the flight of the swans gliding
the rays gentle touch their faces turning orange
in the morning glow
the mist , of the mangrove, so calming
painting faces of the many before me, as they gently sing in harmony
the trees green reach for the skies, the little birds tweet
harboring their nests, and the younglings chirp
as the river meanders, gently the fish swimming upstream
the river bed so clear and distinct
where a tortoise often drinks, while a butterfly rests on its nose
It fights but then again its just love, they do it forever
the cool waters lashing against my body
floating , my eyes open skywards
dead, the eyes still alive, in search of someone
as the world awakes,
the river carries me endlessly , on my final journey
to be one with the earth, blend in her
and let free of my dreams, wishes and longings
mixing me into nothingness…..

utterings of a prisoner

Talk to me, be there in those images I see
Touch my heart, make this time melt away
Look at me and say that you missed me
Whisper , gently as you do, let the winds carry your voice
They know their way,
If i was deaf i could feel them, if i was blind i could see them
You could wake up my long dead soul
You could bring down the walls of my fear of love, of smiling
I know not who you are, if you are God sent.
I know not why, and why for one forsaken so long ago
Let me follow you, eyes closed, bound to your essence
Feel your perfume guiding me, tugging me away
Far from the sorrows that keep me a prisoner
of my own self, of my own doings
free me, unlock this mind
Let this soul soar high again, let your love be the wind beneath its wings
and when I descend, and if it was my final flight
tell me you'll love me, you shall bring my soul back again.

empty

Where I once had love, now all it shelters is fear
Agonized by the ever present , omnipotent absence
The mind now a cavern, hollow, yet standing
Your thoughts flow constant, in gentle streams

There are times when the darkness haunts me
The darkness within, so empty so lone
It misses your touch, gentle; was a known term
Now the walls of this cavern are dry

Sometimes a raging river would run when you were aside
Would gently foam lashing against the seascape so serene
A seascape built of you and me, destroyed by the time’s symphony
Decays the soul that lives there, in that cavern

Summers, and winters have gone by, so have the rains
All drenched me, except my soul
For the faux pas of fear, of a heart, an engraved memory
Kept the cave out of reach, untended

When the day beckons, I am one with the devices that tie me
When its eve I sit and gaze at the skies
I sometimes try to smile, but laugh in my sadness
Each time the cavern mocks at me.

Purge

Ravage my soul
let me lose control
find you in my mind, erase it
Purge my thoughts
Feed this blind brain thought
Equalize what once was High
get my head out of the clouds
rip my heart to shreds
And when all is done
sew me together and leave me, again
Maybe then I shall write again.

Deep within my self
I have concealed your thoughts
Wicked and sacrilege, of lust and desertion
You can see the fight in my eyes
if you look into them, your innocence breeds my craving
of you, a mere possession , mere flesh
I shall not be the one, who shall soothe your hurt
Nor shall I be the one you have waited for
I am only a speck, blowing in the wind
tomorrow I may be gone

Knowing this would you just breathe easy
and extend your hand, surrender your self to me
be in pain, exist so forever there on
for a moment of oneness with you?
I would have if I was you and you were me.
I wont ask for an answer for you are not me.
I depart now.

A White blanket

 

A deep breath and it hurts my lungs
bleeds my lips, bites into my fingers
It looks beautiful, yet I hate it
the cold , the snow, the chilly wind

Reminiscent

From the shadow
Of a mind hiding a dark past
Surfaces a face, gentle, haunting, beautiful
Stirs up my mind, strumming my heart
Butterflies fluttering in the belly
Apart from this childish imagery of a teen falling for a girl
A thirst for her flesh
A lust for her love
Like a cannon ball
Shattering a wall of gentle rose petals
The lust too much to evade
The longing for her touch like a million needles
Piercing my skin, bleeding lust
The air thick, with the evil of this thought
Like a vice , tightening around my lungs
Killing me morally
Her existence, an embodiment of lust
I can only follow,shattered,lacking will.

I wish i lived back then.

 

Back then life had a meaning
a meaning as deep as the universe itself
Back in the times of Che,
To have ridden with him , to have spoken , heard him
his ideas , his thoughts
so much alike,
A ‘one man army’ of indefinite proportions
and the youth of today wear his face
in tattoos, on clothes
grin as if they know,
The revolution is dead Che
no more do they think of equality
its a lost art
I wish i had lived in your times
i wish I had died with you.

Reruns

 

Clear, the skies, beautiful evenings
As far as the eyes can see.
Blue, a tinge of red blending the setting sun
Gentle clouds hum a soothing song
Soothing, my heart has not known such a thing
Its been broken,
Shattered,
Scattered across
All over the gentle countryside.
What happened? you may ask
no offence shall be taken.

It exploded, filled too much
Too much of loneliness, it kept on filling

I stare into the setting
its going to be cold soon
loneliness shall gather no more though
The one heart that could gather it has gone
Short-lived as that thought is, i feel loneliness again
this time gnawing
gnawing at my soul
projecting your memories
in the evening mist
I can only smile at it, in despair
feel its omnipresence,
all i can do is wait,
only that, which shall cure me,
your voice or my death
such a flux of silliness
that you shall once be equated with death
I await.

Love making and a book reading

Feeling the warmth of her body on my skin
On my back, her breath on my heart, she and me
Lost in a world of make believe,
And the time just ticks softly by
those pages brush past by
Rustle,
She whispers,
are we making love
I look at her and smile. This is what love is
You and me in the sheets
Exchanging heat, in a world created
And the creator is long gone
Just to stare at each other and smile
This is what making love is

Grim

"Take me home, with you"
she was in tears, shattered,
"I don't want to be alone anymore"
I reached out, "there is room for everyone child, come"

A dark veil, covers my face,"Why are you so sad dear one"
" am without love, my heart feels cold. No one needs me" spoke she.
"Would you ask a stranger like me to take you away? so unafraid" I ask
"Afraid of what, if I shall be killed, You seem generous so I asked" says she.

"Child do you know who I am, my staff announces my coming,
The humanity fears my very sight, and you reach out to me"
" Would you know me? and if you do now would you still hold on to my hand?" I ask
"There is nothing besides my loneliness, that shall sing my saga." I wont she said.

My sythe, reaped her soul, I walk on
To another victim, another land, but I trun back at her stiff body once
For your will full submission I am afraid, there is nothing I could provide, I think and sigh
There is so much ground to cover. Being death is a busy job.

Cold

Winter is here, I can tell
The lost stories forgotten echo
They speak of us,
the stream flowing down the road reminds me, of you.
Of all that I wish to forget, maybe this heart shall not know
For it forgets ignorance is bliss
On some hung tune of the winter wind
come to my window, look through,
watch me lay awake in my bed
wide awake, in thoughts of you,
Sleepless, like a forgotten fire, in embers, about to die
and death only makes me wait longer
maybe you shall never come visit
if you do, do draw those funny faces on the frosty panes
bless the ground with your shadow,
gently tread on my porch and whisper through the keyhole
let me writhe in your pain, make me think its a dream
so that i can fool myself of sleep
Swirl the air , let your locks enchant it
and then when you have cast your spell yet again
vanish as the melting snow, on some warm winter morning
only to grip me in its cold again.

Distance

You said something, I didn't hear

You complain that the love seems gone

I shall not react, ask why or feel

I am gone somewhere, far into a land unknown

I have wished and wish and shall forever more

To touch the stardust, of the crab , the horse-head, the ring

Past each star that shines, I need to know its glow

Swirl in the galaxies , in wisps that shall someday be planets, and suns and on

I seem to have wandered off

The child in me, the explorer, once lost

In a bout with sentiments and bonds

I am adrift , in some unseen trails , of comets that often pass

Take me into your arms, make love to me

feed me , console me, teach me, all that I need to know about you

I wish to be one with you, and wish to explode

into a supernova, and merge into you.

What if

If the broken could not mend
shall I bid time
even when i know now that time lies
shall i ask for an alibi
should i just then choose to wait
endlessly, and then watch myself fade
or shall i just go now
and be forever dead
these are my choices
I shall choose neither
let me bury the pain and walk
let the heart bleed, leave a trail
maybe someone may find me
if not , I am already gone.

When i look back at the path trodden bare feet,
i try to recollect what reminds me
will it be the smile, or the flower bloom
shall it be the redwood tree
will it be her kiss, or the hunger for one
or will it be to taste her skin dipping in strawberry crush
will she look at me and call my name as i melt in
and bond with her for a moment in time
and then come back to her, in lust in craving

and visit her moans in ecstacy, drown in them
make her feel complete,
and then feel complete myself

Still

When you sleep , what would you dream of

Shall you dream of the beautiful fire place

Before which we lay together

And forgot the world lost, in each others eyes

Shall you dream of that river crossing that we walked

When you held on to me close

On those slippery stones

Will you dream of those blue skies

And walk under it , holding hands

listening to the joyful birds

Shall you dream of a long lost time

when we sat on the moonlit beach

Where the waves sang a gentle song

Shall I feel you close to me , when I sleep tonight

And share your dream, and hear your heart beat

And hold you so close and never leave

I wish I do,

But your parting has kept me awake

Waiting for our next eventful meeting