The summer is here, no word from you
as if my life just walked out on me,
to turn around to tease me,
your memories now come visiting,
just to mock at me longing for you,
just as you would have longed for me,
if I was a good human, I wish I was,
profoundy accepted though, this silly existence,
I know it as ‘unchangable me’,
each step I took closer to love,
it just ran, took a flight, away farthest,
maybe I shall never be loved,
I do not wish to be, for I know the truth,
I have no place left in my heart now,
for you exist in every inch of it,
and grow, overpowering my will,
now grown weak, then it was strong,
for it wanted to love you,
now in the trauma of absence,
its reality breaks, shatters, into nothingness,
I still don’t regret loving you.

Hey it’s the 23rd Of this month. Nine months ago I fell in love and it feels like a life time. Well I know she will be alright, I miss her so damn much, the way she says things, the way she smiles, well everything about her. I am happy I never made any mistakes, all I did was love her with all the life force I could, she has many people who want to be with her, and I don’t let anyone else get closer to me, well am I crazy? no it’s just that I cannot even share a sngle moment of her thought with anyone else. You all may find me smiling and laughing all the time at the office but the ugly truth is I just do it to avoid showing what I feel. I’ll just wait for a day when she may feel she wants to talk to me. I don’t want any other woman to even enter onto the same tile I stand on. Well Tiger I love you, that’s all I can say, still and continuing. You did everything possible to make me hate you but my dearest darling love I still keep loving you more and your absence will kill me.

Stone walls, cold, trap me,
in your thoughts, renew the pain,
make me long, beg, cry for you,
just to love you, just to heal my life,
I await, like I’ve always waited,
to love you, a little more and again,
to breathe the air, our presence shares,
to feel alive again,
somewhere deep within you know,
how it feels to love and miss,
in your silence, in your absence,
my longing grows,
touch my life, alter it, be mine,
tell me you shall never leave my side,
then stab me, kill me, before you leave
I wont complain nor cry,
I want to die, seeing you one last time
in my love’s arms, telling you I still love you
in your arms before the earth takes me in her’s.
 

Obliterate

o·blit·er·ate ( P )
(-blt-rt, -blt-)tr.v. o·blit·er·at·ed, o·blit·er·at·ing, o·blit·er·ates
To do away with completely so as to leave no trace.
To wipe out, rub off, or erase (writing or other markings).
Medicine. To remove completely (a body organ or part), as by surgery, disease, or radiation.

They met, at arms length, walked along,
parted,on their way, in trust once,
people, mutual, close,
now disjoined, in one's anger,
over being loved, endlessly,
victimized, maybe, maybe not,
maybe one of them had a better choice,
both right in their own,
one chose lonelinesss,
and the other her dreams,
eventually, to fall in love, in parting,
both alien to each other's absence,
only to find themselves far away,
in fate's arms, in tears,
obliterated.

beyond the clouds

Somewhere far above,
where the sky dissolves the red sun,
and the clouds make the rays,
in a cloud burst, in the rain,
to fall on the old roads,
upon which I still remember walking by,
visiting her, walking along, homewards,
then when she wished for my company,
some millions of years ago.
That’s what her absence seems,
as if a day each second,
like years each hour that passes by,
in absence of a woman I chose to love,
a woman, a murdrer of my heart,
now dead, still holds on to your name,
the heart did as, now my soul does too,
just to love you, just to hold you,
to tell you what you mean to me.

A River's promise.

Gently wade through, these waters are silent,
they shall sing for you should you feel sad,
drink from it, feel it satiate your thirst,
if I may, let me hold your hand, walking through.
She was there, eroding my hurt,
the ones love put, deep in my heart,
you often come to revive me from pain ,
relieve  her doing so,
she often asks me about you,
I can hear it in her flow,
she consoles me, shows your reflection,
that she has treasured for me of you last spring visit.
each tear drop she absorbed,
she cried alongside,
she too misses you, awaits you,
often asks me, then pacifies.
She tells me one day you shall listen,
and realize from your heart,
and then shall know love,
then think of me,
then miss me,
if so,
come beside her shores at then,
she won’t complain nor ask,
I took a promise, she is bound to my love for you,
She’ll make you smile, for she loves me.

a torment of the self

To wake up each day, with a sunken heart,
knowing to be in love, wishing to be heard,
punished for no crime of mine, but only love,
to exist in torment, subjected, self inflicted,
you ask yourself, why?
you can feel your head explode,
awaiting without a reason,
to just love someone, forever, to never stop,
this time to keep you feelings hidden,
only now, you find her walking away,
when all you asked in life was nothing,
except to be accepted for the self,
to not be loved, but to love,
living in the shadows, shadows of loving,
questioning life, living, begging for death to have mercy.

 

Well tiger wants to be away, it pains. Did I even ask her to love me? no all I need is to hear her, well now that she is ignoring my existence, maybe even condemning my life, I have to just await my trial by hellfire. I walk away, in tears, in pain, but it’s OK, I know you are happy, smiling, i will just wait, your calling, I’ll come back, fly on the wings of friendship, not just because of love, but for a friend that I found in you is still hidden behind all the silly things you do.

Tower of silence

A red disc in the sky,
going down somewhere far on the horizon,
casting a veil of black,
gripping me with a harsh reality,
that another day has passed,
when I haven't been touched by your smile,
nor heard your voice to soothe my soul,
Am I dead? I ask myself?
No but I feel like I'am ,
like I dwell in the tower of silence.
Every second is vulturine,
eating into my soul,
decaying my mind,
I shiver,
each moment your thoughts run,
burning my veins,
my blood now turning cold,
awaiting my fate,
to breathe my last soon,
being killed by an inch,
every split second,
In your absence.

Mined Roads. 

longings

Well sometimes life seems to be on high octane gas, we accelerate down the path of it only to come to a screeching halt, having passed by a place we should have stopped. But then isn't that life?

A life runs amongst fields, mine, on mine fields
each explode in your memory,
like a victim of land mines, I am crippled,
my homeward journey,
paved through there,
I’m aware of its presence,
each laid by your hand, I assisted
it is madness to love, to love like madness,
to walk on towards you, my homing beacon
that shall lead me to living,
I detest those who stand in my way,
between the mine field and me,
between me and you,
I need you, as I need to breathe,
to possess you, to protect you,
to whisper into your eyes, without words,
to make you understand, how much you need love,
each moment that separates us, you grow in me,
shattering my will that accommodates your absence,
making me yearn for you, to hold you in my arms,
to hold your hands, to reassure,
to tell you everything will be alright.

Anger! now that's bad. 

Longings

The sunset is just a phase,
for it brings me a reason to write,
about how much I love you,
about how much absence hurts,
about how I long for you.
I just reach out to the moon,
as if to touch it with my outstretched hands,
just like I wish of being loved,
atleaset unlike the moon you could try.
Maybe you do, maybe you don’t
questioning your thoughts is sacrilege,
for I place you next to my god,
for I love you both unparalled.

Hey I am getting this tattoo on my hand in two months. Working out from tomorrow at the gym man, do i want this or what 

The Luke Skywaker Syndrome. 

Oh an guess what has not changed for the past 17 years? I still brush after I get ready, sometimes I forget it totally and come back home to brush. 

Conscience

When every thing goes wrong and you are angry on someone just ask your conscience if it hurts, if it does remember it’s bad. Oh tiger you are a woman of conscience arent you? just ask either your heart or your conscience it will tell you that I don’t deserve the anger you hold for me. If it hurts then remember someway it will hurt me. Take care, missing you like crazy, friend, dream, imagination, love.

What am I

Would the world at my feet be happiness
if you wouldn’t be heard by me?
and when the stars come out at night,
can I see them through my tearful eyes?
I look at all around,
my vision, a blur, my eyes see you,
all around me, I breathe you,
holding on to your thoughts
like a dying man holding his last breath of air,
wishing to exist one more instance,
a second, a moment,
maybe a fragment, I beg before ‘Time’
to change, to bring back that feeling of belonging
you had for me, now dying.

Tinkle.

Erase my desires,
touch my life, to end it,
for you are, a distant dream,
one that haunts,
one that instills fear,
I succumb to your longing,
in absolute reality,
in persistence,
of my absolute existence,
and to enchant me, your presence.
You exist in my present,in my blood,
burn it with your absence,
freeing me of my sorrows at presence,
just to send me to rest,in sorrows,
some that arise in our distance,
some which with you hurt yourself,
only to bring me tears,
your sorrows are a moment for you,
they are a lifetime to me,
stay beside, don't let go,
I need you to exist till I cease.

Life's Journey.

watching time roll back the Left way 

watching time roll by the right way